Excuse me ...

I wanted to see the look on your faces when you thought I was gonna devote a new entry entirely to Vickie Guerrero. Matter of factly, the title is the beginning of my opening sentence:


Excuse me while I make futile attempts to hide the gigantic fan boner I got from this CM Punk storyline that's going on right now.


Goodness me, this has turned out to be the single greatest story WWE has come up with in the past decade. Punk's promo work  in the past months have been off the charts. Not so subtle references to Colt Cabana, ROH, NJPW and what not? I LOVE IT! I've been a fan of Punk for a long time, simply because he's the kinda guy you wouldn't believe has any charisma until he grabs hold of a microphone (or not even that in some instances) and delivers a promo that is truthful, hilarious and breaks kayfabe like a motherfucker. That's what WWE has offered recently. 


I'm not gonna give you the rundown of what has happened since Punk first grabbed that microphone after becoming #1 contender, because it's widely documented. Just go on youtube, type in "CM Punk" and "Promo" and it'll pop up. 


His promo delivery and his victory at MITB to become champ and leave the company immediately after would remind anyone of Bret Hart and a certain incident in Montréal of which nobody ever talks, besides it being kayfabed. I wouldn't really agree, but more on that.


Punk shows up pretty much everywhere where WWE stars are to taunt them (in particular Triple H) except in a WWE ring. He attends indy shows where he flaunts the belt to everyone. On RAW, in the meantime, Vince gets sacked and replaced with Triple H as COO. Ironically, Vince has never been a COO. Vince's final act is to crown a new WWE Champion because Punk is absent. Rey wins the title only to drop it to Cena about 2 hours later. Ehhhh, rewind that..


The stipulation at MITB was that if Punk won, Cena would be fired as well. Immediately everyone thought: "YAY! FINALLY a much needed period off tv to repackage him and freshen up his character! FUCKING FINALLY". Of course not, with Triple H replacing Vince, Cena was allowed to stay and any opportunity to make him relevant again was out the window. Well, you can't have it all. 


Anyways, Cena wins the belt, celebrates and then all of a sudden a familiar theme song starts playing. It's not "This Fire Burns" by KsE, but rather "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour. Anyone who has seen just a little of ROH pre-2006 knows the shit is about to go down. And indeed, there is Punk, raising the original belt in front of Cena, pretty much signalling that he's back.


This storyline has drawn me in again, completely. There are some slight remarks that I have on this storyline however:


I've already said that a Cena "firing" would be a blessing in disguise. He could spend some time to freshen up his character, heal some nagging injuries and most of all, send pictures over twitter of himself topless, almost showing his crotch to female and certain male fans. Eh, to each his own. Not very PG, John. Unless PG stands for Pretty Gruesome.


CM Punk returned too quickly. In terms of storyline, it wouldn't have been bad if Punk had shown up everywhere the next couple of weeks, except in a WWE ring. From a business POV, it's understandable. WWE has to push this encounter between Cena and Punk like a motherfucker for Summerslam buyrates. With Summerfest being one of the big four pay per views in WWE and buyrates dropping faster than Melina in the men's locker room, they need this rematch to happen then and there.


CM Punk's new old theme. While Cult of Personality is a great song and a good theme ... I feel it would've been more epic if they used Miseria Cantare instead. The song has been synonymous with Punk for the better part of a decade and even half a wrestling fan would've marked out, climaxing with Punk's appearance. I'm just saying. Still holding out for Bryan Danielson to appear while the Final Countdown is playing.


TNA has been doing pretty well, as much as it pains me to say it. They've actually been doing remotely ok with the BFG series, which is difficult to do, considering Hogan and his cavemen stooges shit on everything that's considered mid-card or lower-card (read: everyone under 50). 


Sting, however is making a mockery out of himself and his iconic crow character by doing a poor Heath Ledger's Joker. ART THOU FORNICATING SERIOUS? (pun very much intended). The sad fact that this character is over as fuck just shows how sad the general crowd at the Universal studios really is. Fucking Vince Russo. 


To paraphrase the legendary Cornette: "I'm on a low carb diet, just so I can outlive that piece of shit so I can take a piss on his fucking headstone!"


In other news, I've finally figured out what the fuck was wrong with my pc. About 8 months ago, I started getting flickering lines all over my screen. "Fucking annoying" doesn't even grasp the idea of it. For 7 months I tried everything to get it away, to no avail. I wouldn't believe it was my monitor itself, because fucking hell, the thing cost 200€ and it was only a year and a half old.


I ended up switching monitors with my dad and he had the same shit I had. So, switch back for the time being, and get a new monitor. Got a Fujitsu now, no problems anymore and a great piece of advice for everyone.


Don't buy anything Packard Bell, you'll end up being screwed in the ass faster than a prison bitch. 


With that, I bid you farewell for now. I hope I have wasted some of your precious time. As always, the pleasure is all mine. Now feel free to return to your Japanese midget porn :)


~D.