So, Wrestlemania has passed on, and I was glad I didn't have high hopes for it.
Just by reading the results, I got a pretty clear view of the event, which did not entice me to watch it ... at all.
Which is what the title references. I truly believe that Vince Russo infiltrated the offices in Stamford and poured his man-juice all over the script.
Let me run it down for you.
Edge vs Alberto Del Rio, "World Title Match". If you booked WWE programming, would this be your curtain jerker? I fucking think not. They fucking thought so. Nevertheless, I was surprised that Edge walked out with the belt. I was equally annoyed that Christian did not turn on Edge. That was the window.
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes. Filler match nobody in their right mind would care for. What's notable? Cody Rhodes went over. Pretty neat stuff for a guy who is part of the "Knights of Boredom".
8-man tag match. The Core with an extra r vs Kane/Show/Kofi/Santino. A match that could've easily gone 20 minutes was cut short to ... a minute and a half. Yup, good job making a villain team look strong while getting their ass handed to them by a collection of boys who wouldn't get booked otherwise.
Punk vs Orton. They both are the future of the company, and they have proven once again why. These guys have a great storyline going on (even though the basis lies at Unforgiven 2008, which half of the audience won't even know about.). These guys know how to get an exciting match going. Exciting as in emphasis on actual pro wrestling.
The skits, I could care less for. I don't think anyone paid for Pee Wee Herman. Just saying.
PISS BREAK IMMINENT. Jerry Lawler faces Michael Cole.
Random note. Michael Cole has tattoos. Silly tattoos. Hearts and shit. It does not make him look cool. There, I said it. Match was over quickly. Jerry makes Cole tap, "Anonymous RAW GM" reverses the decision because Stone Cold got involved. Predictable as hell. Yawn.
Funny note: this match lasted nearly 14 minutes.
Next up, the match everyone's been waiting for. Taker going 19-0 over the Game. (You have now lost, btw)
Just reading over the course of the match, my suspicions were confirmed. This does not even come close to their previous Mania encounter at X-Seven. You know, the match WWE vehemently denies ever taking place. Taker apparently did sell the match like a motherfucker. All props to Taker. In the state he's in and still going 30 minutes in a No Holds Barred match featuring the usual Mania spots has to be commended.
Oh, and Trips traded in Motorhead for 'Tallica's "Bells". Appropriate, I guess.
PISS BREAK NUMERO DOS! JoMo, Trish and the Trollololol vs LayCool &
Miz vs Cena. What everyone (including me) expected did NOT happen. Guess Russo missed that spot with his man-juice. Miz made Miztory as he actually became the first one to beat John Cena at Wrestlemania in a couple years! Yay!
Ok, initially it ended in a draw, but Rock wouldn't have it. Some shtick ensues. Match gets restarted because Rocky wants it (wait, since when does the host get this kinda power?). Cena wants to go for the FU, Rocky hits Cena with his "patented" Rock Bottom. Miz pins Cena for the win. Neat.
Based on this, I don't want to watch the event. Simple as that ... maybe except for the William Regal rap. It's so uncomfortable and stomach-turning each time Regal raps that I just can't get enough of it. They shouldn't be legal, tbh.
I watched portions of RAW, including the US Title match that was suspiciously cut off from the event. Sheamus retained, "Sin Cara" debuted and kicked Sheamus' ass. All hail Sin Cara's trampoline-aided botched top rope tumble. I'm intrigued nonetheless.
I saw Tough Enough as well. Pretty good first episode. Great that they acknowledged the indie work of some contestants. The main highlights of the show? Bill DeMott. I had forgotten how awesome this guy is and how awesome the character "Hugh Morrus" was. Though,"no joke", this first episode immediately showed that it was "no laughing matter". (See what I did?)
Also, during the meeting between Stone Cold and the trainers to see who has piss off outta there, Bill made me shortlist him for quote of the year.
"He's green as goose shit". Note, I randomly put that on twitter, and Bill almost immediately retweeted that. Pride and shit.
Much to my own surprise, I enjoyed Tough Enough. The one that got booted was the only one who actually annoyed me. Whatever. That girl made one of my favorite moments from that episode. Imagine:
SCSA: Whoa, wrestling is a NEW passion?
Girl: Yeah!
SCSA: What's your favorite match?
Girl: The one between Melina and Alicia Fox.
SCSA: Who?
Raises two questions for me...
1) What match between Melina and Alicia Fox is notable or good enough to be remembered?
2) What the fuck did she think she'd achieve with that answer?
Woman, at least do your goddamn research before enrolling. Of course, she is supposed to be eye candy anyways, so immediately upon her elimination she got signed to a developmental deal. Considering she has zilch experience, she'll probably end up in the ring within 6 months, green as goose shit.
Food for thought. Triple H ... I never thought I'd say this but ... PLEASE take over the company.
~D.
i didn't care much for anything but the rock's segment. watched the results without much interest in that, and to be honest, my lack of interest for the 'E was mostly responsible for my lack of caring for the card.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenif only Austin and Rock came back more often.
Tough Enough : won't care to watch, no matter how elogious you are. Anyways, gotta work :p Nice reading ;)
(ps like the green as goose shit comment too)
As harsh as always, huh? I actually enjoyed the show, having watched every single second of it, I can say that for the most part it was good entertainment. But yeah, some things were utter crap as always, and you pointed most of the shitty things out. Except for the fact that Eve didn't have a match. But man, was she SMOKING when she was talking to The Rock. Dayum.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenRAW the night after was great, imo. Didn't watch Tough Enough, but maybe I should! Looking forward to the next post!
Hey, btw, I've been back into e-fedding since over a month. If you ever feel the need to get some roleplaying going, hit me up and you can join the place where I'm at! Would be great fun, no? If you think you can still get into stuff like that. But admit it, we had some great times way back when :D
We sure did have some great times back then. But regardless, I've moved away from that nice a long time ago, and I don't think I'll feel the need to return any time soon.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenAs for Eve not having a match. Contextual, it's not right. Personally, I'd wath a 4 hour marathon of Ken Loach movies before willingly watching Eve wrestle.
And I fucking hate Ken Loach.
As for Tough Enough, I was a little on the fence, but Bill DeMott really made the first episode for me. Apparently, it's going to get better from there, so I guess I'll follow this on a weekly basis.
Having seen the event (well, most of it)...the William Regal rap was my Y2J (as in "Highlight of the Night").