That creativity dry-spell & other mindboggling business moves

hullo


the title of the following blog could be misleading. It could mean that I'm currently facing that creativity dry-spell and this blog will be devoid of cynism, sarcasm, overall funny that usually makes any entry juicy enough to be passable.


Or it could mean something else. 


Obviously, it is the latter. If otherwise, I wouldn't even bother writing this entry.


On a sidenote: exams are coming up, I'm feeling relaxed as ever. And for a very valid reason, I have a personal war with the French language. Enfin, les testes orale sont un pain in the ass.


The creativity dry-spell I'd like to discuss (read: rant about) is one that's currently faced by the writing team of Monday Night RAW. I realise that complaining about wrestling storylines is getting a little tedious, but come on. If they hadn't sunken to a new low, I wouldn't have cared.


Remember, in my last entry, where I spoke of Cena's farewell? Yeah. Scratch that. Cena's back, but in order for them not to break kayfabe to the kids in the audience (who, I'm pretty sure, have no fucking clue what kayfabe is) they decided to repackage him for the time being into "Juan Cena", John's masked cousin from Mexico.


I nearly fell off my tacky chair when I read that. That is the brilliant idea RAW creative came up with to keep Cena relevant to the audience. A few pointers that they missed on the go:


- Cena hasn't been relevant since Kurt Angle endlessly jobbed to him from september to november 2005.
- You don't need to keep Cena on tv, because people are utterly sick of him and would applaud him fucking off for at least a few months.
- Use that free time to really think through what new paths Cena could take to actually make him relevant again and not a part of the RAW set.


Obviously, a few people missed the intellectual ship and decided to travel in the Dinghy of Dumbasses. Not only are they insulting our intelligence, they'll probably swerve any die-hard Cena fan out there. Because they're no older than 11 and don't have the intellectual gathering to really understand this absolutely brilliant creative direction. 


Reading stuff like this makes me miss the E-feds we used to have on the forums. Back in the day, those E-feds stood for quality writing and interesting storylines. 


I remember one particular storyline that was concocted on the fly, by myself and Matt Neve. I don't know if you were part of the forums already, but I suspect you were. Anyways, it ultimately became the basis for an entire pay per view where the roster was branched into two sides. Raven's Flock and Mysterio's Minions (the latter didn't really have a name). Sounds like "Bragging Rights", huh? Well, it happened before Bragging Rights, and it was concocted to write Raven off the fed. It became a smashing success too.


Man, where are the days that I wrote 8 pages worth of segment for a show, without really knowing what I would be writing when I'd start (much like these blogs, really). "A Day in the life of The Hurricane" for example. Wrote it completely on the fly, and I still lol at it from time to time.


But the point I'm trying to make is, that if a simple kid, then 18 years old, can write a well balanced and carefully thought out segment, why can't a team of experience writers do the same? Why do they come up with such crap ideas? 


Lack of time? They have a week to write RAW, and more time to think out storylines.


Lack of knowledge? They have been working on it for a long time now. They'll be at least somewhat knowledgeable by now.


Lack of interest? This seems ever more likely. With every great idea shot down by Vince and the PG restriction greatly limiting whatever they can do. The last good idea Vince had? Santino Marella. 
Luckily, that's one for the ages.


Here's a pointer for Vince, hire some wrestling writers to run the show. Have guys like Paul Heyman run the RAW creative and have some Hollywood blondes as underlings (see what I did there?). Oh, and give him some leeway. Not the horrible Stephanie McMahon controlled ECW crap we got served under Heyman's reign in 2006. I still have trouble grasping the fact that Bobby "less charisma than a teaspoon" Lashley ran with the belt.


Fuck it, it's like I'm on repeat. When will they finally get the message? With Cena mocking the smart marks last week, by pointing out that they all hate him ... shouldn't that be a message to Vince to change things around, for the better of his business? Or is that just wishful thinking.


I'll probably end up mulling over this endlessly. Dammit.




D~


EDIT DEC 2ND 2010 11.28PM GMT+1: WWE has come to terms on the release of Montel Vontavious Porter (Alvin Burke, jr.) today. bla bla future endeavours bla bla


Not like we didn't see it coming. He's been hinting towards it on twitter, apparently. Matt Hardy called it too, apparently, but I don't tend to take hints from a low life delusional bastard.


I could take this moment and make fun of how WWE officials have no clue how to run the focal point of their business anymore, but it's been somewhat of a running gag in every entry by now, so I'm just gonna leave it up to you to come up with witty remarks on how WWE fucks up once again.




aaaaaaand SHOOT~