The Road to Wrestlemania 25

O hey.

I couldn't possibly maintain a blog about professional wrestling and then completely neglect the biggest event of the year ... The Grandaddy of 'em All:


Wrestlemania

It just occurred to me that it's possibly the most corny name for a Pay Per View event ever (Thank you mucho Howard Finkel).

Anyways, this year marks the 25th anniversary of the annual pay per view event which calls for something special. Vince and "WWE Creative" (a term used very loosely as creativity has never been their strongest point) have really gone out of their way to create interesting storylines to go with their biggest event of the year and possibly the decade.

Naturally, an annual staple that has been featured at Mania since the 21st edition is "The Money in the Bank Ladder Match" which is an excellent opportunity for the creative to give young talent a nod up the card. That's because the winner receives a world title match to be cashed in at any time until the following Wrestlemania.

If my memory serves me correctly, everyone who has won Money in the Bank later on won the world title. Edge in 2005 cashed in at New Years Revolution 2006 and won against John Cena; Rob Van Dam won in 2006 and cashed it in at One Night Stand 2006 once again against John Cena (notice that retarded pattern here?); Mr Kennedy won in 2007, but passed it on to Edge because he was injured and Edge cashed it in the following night, defeating The Undertaker for the title; CM Punk won in 2008 and cashed it in on RAW, defeating Edge to claim his first World Championship.

All of the above (with the notable exception of Edge's second) got their first World Title reign because of it. This year features Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, Mark Henry (a 380 pound strongman in a ladder match, WWE always provides comedy), Christian among others.
It's difficult to tell who's gonna win, because aside from Kingston and Henry, all participants are veterans both of the ring and the match. Henry, oddly enough, already has a world title reign behind him (ok, so did and does Punk). Naturally, I'm rooting for my homeboy Christian to win.

The Money in the Bank match has pretty much taken the Match of the Night Award since the match's inception, pretty much beating out the main event of the show in terms of excitement (but who can be seriously excited when Triple H and Batista face off? I can't.)
This year will be different, I'm sure.

On one hand, we got a world heavyweight title match pitting the champion Edge (in his 8th reign by now, for who's keeping count) against the 441 pound Big Show and Superman. (Now, Superman had to be renamed John Cena so DC Comics wouldn't sue the WWE).

Not very interesting, indeed. However, the storyline built around it is interesting. John Cena sneaked his way into the match after he revealed Vickie Guerrero (widow of the late Eddie Guerrero and kayfabe GM of SmackDown and wife of Edge) had an affair with the Big Show. This can go two ways. Let's overanalyse.

Either Vickie Guerrero becomes a face. If so, it will be revealed that Big Show played at her emotions by confessing his love for her, while in "reality" he just wanted a shot at the belt.

Edge, possibly the 3rd best heel in the world right now turns face. Edge is upset because Vickie cheated on him and turns face as a result of it.

Either way, I can live with that. Edge as a face might bring back the days of E&C (with Christian now having returned to WWE, the odds seem more likely) where Edge cut possibly some of the funniest promo's of his career ("Don't worry Lilian, our nuts are safe for consumption.")

That's the SmackDown side of the world title match. There's also the RAW, which is even more interesting.

Triple H, the world champion as usual, face off against the future leading man Randy Orton.
Orton, a heel, has been dealing with the McMahon family, punting grampa Vince and son Shane in the head and handing out a perfect RKO to daughter Stephanie. This angered Triple H, who has been married to Stephanie since 2003 (which just became miraculously revealed) and Trips wants revenge. Orton and Triple H face off. Trips dares Orton (who won the Royal Rumble and gets a world title match at Mania no matter what) to challenge him and Orton refuses. Triple H gets in Orton's face (Triple H's big nose is a hindrance) and starts giving him a history lesson. Evolution-aahhh, blah blah blah. Orton changes his mind and challenges Triple H on the condition they will not harm eachother until Mania.

WRONG! A week or so later, Orton is beating the shit out of Trips on SmackDown. The next monday, Trips walks into Orton's house and beats the living shit out of him. Trips gets arrested by developmental talent who just happen to be there wearing cop uniforms. voila. That's up till now.

As we all know, Triple H can put on good matches and is always extra motivated at Wrestlemania. Orton always delivers, both in promo's and in matches, so this match will likely be way up there. Orton and Triple H faced off last year as well, but that match also featured John Cena (HIM AGAIN?) and it was Orton who walked away with the world title. I'm hoping this year it's the very same ordeal.

I spoke about the Undertaker. Wrestlemania has always been Undertaker's night. Ever since his debut in 1990, he's been a part of every Wrestlemania (except for two) and is thus far undefeated. That makes him 16-0.

Naturally, this streak is of legendary proportions and this year, another victim joins the list of people who claim they can break the streak. This time, it's the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels who's made the challenge. This has been absolutely great so far. Two ring veterans who are over with the crowd no matter what are gonna face off. Michaels is called Mr. Wrestlemania (despite predominantly losing) so I wonder how it'll turn out. Naturally, Taker is gonna walk away the winner.

This match has become something to look forward to, just because Undertaker has been breaking his predominantly silent character to cut some strong promo's which showed shades of Undertaker '99 during the Ministry days. Taker delivers. That's good.

JBL has won the Intercontinental Title from CM Punk on the last edition of RAW. This is likely the start of the "historical announcement" he promised.

This could be anything. The Intercontinental Title being defended at Wrestlemania for the first time in years?
That, or JBL is gonna announce his official retirement. He did it in 2006, returned in 2008 but is likely gonna retire for good in 2009 because of nagging back problems. Fine.

Either way, JBL has the mic skills to put it over as something memorable.

Matt Hardy is gonna face off against Jeff Hardy. What do you want me to say? Piss break more likely than not. Matt is a boring fuck and Jeff sucks balls. Enough said.

Then there's the 25 diva battle royal. Mae Young (86 yrs old) is not gonna be actively in the match because the last time she wrestled (again at 86yrs old), she threw a few forearm shots, got dizzy and tumbled over like a sack of potatoes. Respect to the lady, but that's no place for someone her age. She already took a huge powerbomb off the stage through a table at age 77 (or something like that) she has proven herself more than enough during all those years that she was active.

The current crop of divas is gonna be in the match of course, along with likely veterans such as Trish Stratus, Sunny, Debra and so on. Lita and Molly Holly have turned down the invitation, sadly enough. Can't say I really care for it.

then there's the subject of Chris Jericho. He's been heavily critical of Mickey Rourke, who had challenged him on some movie premier. Since then, Jericho has been poking fun at "washed up legends who are vying for a spot in the limelight" much like Rourke's character does in "The Wrestler". Plans are still a little shady at this point, but likely, Jericho's gonna face a batch of legends ending with Rourke (who is gonna be in attendance) throwing the knockout punch.

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Honky Tonk Man, Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat etc. have already been confirmed to appear at Mania. I'm curious.

Then, there's the Hall of Fame ceremony which takes place a day before Mania itself. The class of this year is headed by the inclusion of Attitude Era legend Stone Cold Steve Austin. Tag Team legends are represented by brothers Terry Funk and Dory Funk, jr, legendary wrestler and promoter "Cowboy" Bill Watts, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and "The Birdman" Koko B. Ware.

No real surprises there. I'd be genuinely surprised if the next line-up included Ultimate Warrior, Jeff Jarrett, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Chris Benoit and Bruno Sammartino. People with knowledge about the wrestling business know why this is an obvious joke.

'Mania card over for all I care. I could've skipped some matches but that's likely because I don't care about them or because it's nearly 3AM here at the time of writing.


.Deli

Currently reading: Nothing at all by No Writer.
Currently listening: Dark Tranquillity - Fiction and some Ranetki songs on my MP4.

Next blog will appear around Mania time, for those who give a crap =) kthxbai.