Marks and other Jazz to worry about.

Hey there

It's pretty much official now, this blog right here will feature professional wrestling only. Simple as. Perhaps, some other subjects such as my favorite Russian band will get an honorable mention.

Let's begin this rant, shall we?

I shouldn't call it a rant to be honest. After all, I'm just trying to shed some light on what I perceive is the current ideology and that jazz of the wrestling business. Actually, "idiocy" would be a better word.

Also, I'm going to focus on World Wrestling Entertainment alone, since they provide the most cock-ups I can put into this blog.

It started off great last thursday. I log on to the internet and I read that Scotty Goldman got fired.

BIG DEAL, you might think. Many of you don't even know who the fuck Scotty Goldman is.

Well, Scotty Goldman was a "rookie" WWE Superstar who didn't do much other than present his own WWE.com exclusive show "What's Crackin' with Scotty Goldman". Last week, the show was renamed "Good as Goldman" where he humorously tried to elaborate on his points. The show was well received, judging from the comments on Scotty's official myspace. (no link provided, don't fool yourself)

For the rest, Scotty Goldman was pretty much not used. He got fired. Logical decision if creative comes up with the reasoning of "not having anything for him creatively".

DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!

Scotty Goldman was known on the independent scene as Colt Cabana. Aside from being the best friend of top RAW Star CM Punk, he was the one guy many fans, promotors and peers felt the term "WWE STAR" was invented for. They were all right. Colt Cabana has the microphone skills (excellent humour) and is a well trained wrestler.

WWE officials, and most of all Vince McMahon, didn't feel he had that "TV-star look" which basically meant he was as generic as could be.

WRONG!

Well, actually, they were right, but WWE made the mistake of crafting a gimmick for Colt that only showed a little bit of Colt's capabilities: funny one liners.

If they had left Colt the way he was on the indies and turned that into his WWE gimmick, things would've gone into a different direction. Believe me.

One match he had comes to mind. It was CM Punk's official farewell match from Ring of Honor before he was headed to WWE. Given Punk and Colt's history together as up and comers, tag team partners (as the Second City Saints) and opponents, ROH officials booked Punk's last match against Colt Cabana.

It was a 2-out-of-3-falls match. The way Colt behaved was absolutely tremendous. A funny antic was for example:

Colt stops Punk into a stalemate and then asks him to look up. Punk looks up and Colt hits him. A while later, Colt once again stops him and asks him to look up. Punk doesn't do it at first but finally gives in and does so. Colt hits him again.

Later, Colt stops Punk for the third time and asks him to look up. Punk doesn't do it. Colt begs, but Punk doesn't give in. Colt then asks Punk to look down, which he does. Colt then stomps on his foot."

Those in ring antics is what makes a crowd pop for a wrestler/superstar. Those things "get you over"

WWE naturally failed to see this and as such, misses to see the potential of the man. It's their loss. I'm sure officials will regret the decision later and rehire him as soon as they do.

-----

On to the main idea of this blawg.

Regularly, I visit the official WWE Universe website (formerly known as WWE Fan Nation). What surprised me is that there are quite smart WWE fans who know just as much as any smart mark (whoah, there's that term) but most of the time, the reactions of fans are just right down funny.

Marks. Marks. What are "marks"?

Marks are fans of the professional wrestling product that have no clue. They think whatever happens in the wrestling world - rivalries, heel persona's and whatnot - are real.

That's why a face gets cheered like crazy and a heel gets showered with boo's. Those folks know no better.

Marks are considered the lowest form of fans, at least by most of the Smart Marks (or smarks for short). Smart Marks consider themselves an elite group of fans (or most of them do anyways) because they have insider info they picked up from the so called "dirtsheets" provided by insiders or people with contacts within the business. They generally know what the wrestling business is about and simply watch to see how all of those storylines play out.

They are also the kind of fans who more or less rebel against current storylines. Basically, if the face is a bad wrestler, they boo the face. If the heel is an awesome wrestler, they cheer.

I consider myself to be a part of the Smart Mark group. I read dirt sheets multiple times a day and when I attended the live event in Brussels last november, I think I was the only one cheering for John Morrison, The Miz, Vladimir Kozlov. The arena went berserk when the Hardy's came out, while I was boo'ing my lungs out because both Hardy brothers suck balls. Yes, Matt is a decent wrestler, but boring as fuck. Jeff is a waste of space who relies only on high spots and if things went normal, should have OD'd by now.

Triple H is another kind of guy. He gets cheered at this point, because he's a face. I cheer him on as well, because Triple H is a great worker. However, I fucking hate him. This is difficult to explain. Triple H, the character, is whom I like. The man who portrays Triple H on tv (are you following?) is the one I don't like. Paul Levesque is his name. He is Triple H, but he's an asshole.

Why? He's the one that bangs Stephanie McMahon, daughter of Vince, and thus "the boss' daughter". Because of his marriage to Steph, he has an incredible amount of "pull" backstage and basically can put himself over anyone else on the roster. If he wants a title reign, he'll make Stephanie pregnant again and he's got one. So far, he's accumulated 13 world title reigns.

However, he doesn't mind throwing the title up for grabs for the next prolific star who might do well with a world title run. It just takes a few months where the next star is buried and Triple H is perceived as the toughest fuck in this world (which marks of course believe) before the next star wins the title in a fluke.

That's how it goes with Trips.

Luckily, I managed to surround myself on forums with smart fans who enjoy the product as much as I do, but generally complain about it after every show. I'm not alone like that.

As for something else, in closure.

Lera Kozlova, "ex-Ranetka", has had her first solo gig in the city of Samara. I've seen snippets and aside from looking incredibly beautiful, she was into it like fire. I miss her presence in Ranetki. I really do. The new girl isn't as well trained vocally or percussionistically (I made that word up) but she gets the job done with help from the band and the manager. I also realised (after closer inspection of pictures) that she didn't get a "boob job" but just grew up nicely. Wonder why I closely inspect pictures? You just had your answer HAH!

I'm seriously hoping she returns at some point, even only to do vocals, while the new girl (Anya "Nyuta" Baydavletova - there's a moutful) plays the drums. Dream scenario, naturally. I guess that's gonna be one for the "Yeah Right"- category along with my "I'm gonna be a professional wrestler" -dream.

fuck it. As usual. Bai.

Delirious.

FACTOIDS:

I am addicted to Russian pop music

I always look for reasons why the hell WWE screws up so many things

I marked out for Triple H at the Brussels show nevertheless.

I use alot of limey green colors in this blog post.

If you ever decide to speak to me in person, I will not be able to hear you over the sound of my awesomeness. I'm sorry in advance.

And so, things change ...

Hai thar.


Zou ik in het Engels verder gaan, kwestie dat als ik mijn internationale vrienden naar hier doorverwijs, ze effectief kunnen lezen wat ik schrijf?

ja.


Here we go.

So, professional wrestling huh? Perhaps it's not a great subject to start ranting on at 4.30 in the morning but since that's about the time I am most awake, I might just as well.

In light of recent events, I've been paying much more attention to the happenings in the biz.

TNA has made a few awful decisions over the past week. While letting go 2/3rds of the Rock n' Rave infection (that being Lance "Rock" Hoyt and Jimmy Rave) was a good move (they were barely used anyways) I was slightly surprised that they also fired one of their most prolific stars who could have actually meant much in the current storyline that has TNA in their grasp.

Imagine "TNA original" Petey Williams turning face and joining AJ Styles and his cohorts in the Frontline to battle the main event mafia? This reeks of old rehashed shit, but this would've provided an excellent opportunity for Petey Williams to get over.

Now, Petey Williams has to go and look for work on the indy scene. The man with the most discussed finishing move ever, The Canadian Destroyer, has to start wrestling in shady bars again, just because TNA wanted to cut costs.

HELLO, TNA! You got a roster full of washed up has beens who have got nothing left to do there apart from delivering a name. Fire them from their multi-million dollar contracts and you're good to go.

That's what happens when you stop pushing your homegrown talent the moment a new WWE reject comes in. I'll use that term loosely as many of those WWE rejects have proven to be a great asset for TNA.

Kevin Nash, while having been a big name some 15 odd years ago is seriously in need of binoculars if he ever wants to see the prime again he left behind 10 years ago. After WCW, Nash's run was over. Still, he's there as a member of the main event mafia, working matches gingerly because he's had some 10 odd operations on both knees. Enough reason for TNA to push him, it seems.

Now, he gingerly walks to the ring, he gingerly runs around the ring, afraid to hurt his knees more. If he did injure his knees again, he's probably confined to a wheelchair in a few weeks time.

Sting has been having knee problems as of late, and guess what, he's your TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Something just doesn't seem right. Did someone neglect to mention to the guy that when you're 50, it's no longer cool to wear black and white face paint and run around a hexagon circle in spandex?

Granted, Sting still has it. He still has physique and can still work a good match with enough psychology woven through it to keep the average smark happy.

I merely state this because I feel it's wrong of TNA to constantly push those old has beens to the top just to get their ratings past the 1.0

Luckily, with the old nWo vs New Blood rehashed storyline, there's enough room on the show to push new talent, which resulted in a Match of the Year candidate at Genesis when Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin wrestled for the X-Division title (which also marked Alex Shelley's first TNA title reign). It smells alot like Vince Russo. I wouldn't be surprised if a subtle swerve is done very soon. Something completely out of the blue and entirely unnecessary like Joe turning on the Frontline.

I'm just guessing.

I never thought I'd say this, but WWE has been a lot more satisfying at that end. WWE fired people, but they fired useless people such as Hardcore Holly.

Hardcore Holly ... probably one of the least liked people in the wrestling business. Known for being an absolute asshole to rookies, trying to make them look bad by not coöperating during a match (= sandbagging); rubbing people the bad way. How he got that tenure of 15 years is beyond me. He did teach a lesson though. After all, being at home for a year rehabbing a broken neck because Brock Lesnar takes shit from no one is rather funny.

Val Venis was also fired, and while that was a good decision it's still sad not to see the Big Valbowski any more. Sean Morley portrayed a character that was highly controversial even during the most controversial era in wrestling. That's the way it had to be. Everybody got off their seats when Val made it to the top rope and signaled for the Money Shot.

No other remarkable releases were done, though I am highly surprised Hacksaw Jim Duggan is still there. Considering the guy won the first Royal Rumble in 1988 (21 fucking years ago!) he's still running around there doing absolutely jack shit.

But, WWE has made a complete 180 when it comes to booking and that jazz. In 2006, it was John Cena that would be stuffed down our throats constantly. Now, John Cena is again world champion and it seems the focus lies with those who could possibly become the biggest stars in a few years: The Legacy.

Randy Orton, no words can describe what a good superstar he is. Extremely heel, good wrestler (though chinlocks do get a bit boring) and great on the stick. Now that he's got his own little faction of second generation stars, he's further on the way up. Now that he won the Royal Rumble and has a match of the year candidate set for No Way Out, his star keeps on shining.

The same goes for his two buddies, both also coming from a wrestling family. Cody Rhodes, son of "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes and halfbrother of Dustin "Goldust" Rhodes; Ted DiBiase jr, son of "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and probably the most promising star on the roster.

And we all know factions like this which is lead by a more seasoned worker gets people over. Randy Orton and Batista both got over big time during their tenure under Ric Flair and Triple H in Evolution and see where they are now!

Chris Jericho. With charges probably being held against him for punching a female fan in the face (she was wearing a John Cena shirt, either way she deserved to get a bat around the piehole) is still the bright shining light in the RAW main event scene. This guy still is the total package. He should be wrestling Orton at Mania for the strap. That match would go in the list with the all time great Mania matches. But no, Chris Jericho will probably end up doing nothing while John Cena is main event YET AGAIN a Wrestlemania, against Orton.

I enjoyed ECW programming this week, which is one of the first times since its return in 2006 (1st time= CM Punk debut; 2nd time was the extreme strip poker segment). Not only did return promos air for Matt "Evan Bourne" Sydal (they must really like him! woohoo!), finally somebody made notice of the very obvious lisp of ECW Champion Jake Hager (or Jack Swagger, even though that's besides Dirk Diggler and Dolph Ziggler the gayest name ever).

That someone was the one person I could expect it from. He made his return to the WWE after spending three years in TNA: Captain Charisma, The Instant Classic and Deli's personal favorite of all time: Christian.

Christian did not start his return promo with "you know something?" Awesome.
Christian started his promo by interrupting Swaggers.

Christian: "What am I doing here? Isn't it obvious? I'm here to interrupt your promo!
Christian: "Well, actually, I'm here to save your life."
Swagger looks confused
Christian: "You look confused, let me fill you in. You could have electrocuted yourself with all that saliva escaping your mouth"

Christian then begins to make fun of Swaggers lisp some more, and then adds in a Sylvester reference for good measure. That's Christian. I really missed him.

No Way Out is this Sunday. For some reason, not all matches have been announced (at least, I hope not) so it's gonna be worth looking out for. Two Elimination Chamber matches for the world titles on both RAW and SmackDown, Jack Swagger defending his ECW championship against veteran Finlay, Randy Orton facing Shane O' Mac in a grudge match with No Holds Barred stipulation. It's like a small Wrestlemania.

Here's hoping John Cena doesn't retain the belt and Jeff Hardy doesn't gain it.

Wow, that's the wrestling bit. Oddly enough, onto something completely else.

I play GTA IV (quite alot actually, because my social life is Sub-Zero ^^) and I happened to have been cruising around in a Porsche knock off when I turned the channel to Vladivostok FM. Russian pop extravaganza! One song starts playing and the singer sounded so hot, she had to be hot. Knowing Russian women are pretty, most of the time, I just had to know which band it was.

Thanks to the in - game function of calling a number to inquire about the song I knew within seconds. "Ranetki - O Tebe".

I paused, went on youtube and there was the videoclip. MY WORD THOSE GIRLS ARE BEYOND HOT! And unlike many other bands, they are also very talented.

I now have their album, got a profile on a Russian site where they are on and I still don't feel like I should start getting therapy. The singer/drummer left the band to start a solo career. That bums me out. Her replacement couldn't carry a tune in a bucket and is completely adept at being useless. She can't play the drums and sing at the same time. Hell, she can't play the drums.

I'm hoping Lera, the singer, soon returns to the band. Perhaps if they get voted to play the Eurovision festival (which will be done in the original line-up if chosen) sparks will once again fly off the stage as usual and the group is together again.

I can only hope.

That's all for tonight. You probably read all the way through this and did not understand anything I just wrote. Good, makes it feel so much more worth to type this all out =)


peace and love


Delirious.

Professional wrestling ... wut?

Hai


nieuw huisje. Niet langer vind ik mijn stek op web-log.nl. Uitstekende service, ahem.

Waar praat ik hier al zo over? Goh, het liefst over van alles en nog wat, dan kan je me tenminste later niets verwijten. Ik vrees dat het vooral over "professional wrestling" zal gaan.

Jawadde, in de Nederlands sprekende wereld is daar weinig publiek voor, ik weet het. Toch vind ik het interessant om het daarover te hebben. Het voordeel eraan is dan wel dat niemand me kan verbeteren moest ik het eens fout hebben.

Het zou me verbazen. Wat ik hier ga neergooien is voornamelijk opinie. Mijn opinie. Ik probeer de hele bizz nog een beetje te volgen, maar mijn aandacht is nu een beetje meer verspreid.

In elk geval, ik heb nog genoeg opgepikt om toch al tenminste 1 blogje erover te vullen.

Here we go.

Ik ben serieus tevreden over de schrijvers achter het hele gebeuren in World Wrestling Entertainment. Sinds kort weten hun verhaallijnen me weer te boeien. Dat is iets dat de voorbije jaren wel anders was. Tegenwoordig krijgen verhaallijnen genoeg tijd om zich te ontwikkelen en kan men effectief spreken van een verhaal. Hoe lang ik daar op heb gewacht...

Om een heel recent voorbeeld te nemen: Randy Orton lijdt aan een stoornis waarvan de naam me nu even niet te binnen schiet. Het zorgt er in elk geval voor dat ie aggressief wordt als hij in een hoekje wordt gedreven. Interessante invalshoek. Nja, de grote chef komt terug na een behoorlijk smakeloos uitgespeeld incident een goeie 6-7 maanden daarvoor en krijgt een bottine tegen zijn tronie voor de moeite. Zoon van de grote chef vindt het niet leuk, slaat Randy Orton vol op zijn façade en voila, de match is gemaakt voor het volgende Pay Per View: No Way Out

No Holds Barred match. Alles mag, maar alles moet ook zo'n beetje. Zulke matchen stonden in het verleden garant voor bloedverlies, hoofdpijn en nog een hoop andere minder leuke omstandigheden. Ook al is de zoon van de chef eigenlijk President of Global Media, hij kan er behoorlijk wat van in de ring en dat wordt nog maar eens duidelijk komende zondag. Ik kan haast niet wachten.

Er zijn natuurlijk ook weer mindere kanten ...

Wie mij kent, weet dat ik een bloedhekel heb aan John Cena. Ik kan begrijpen dat hij gepusht wordt als de redder van de biz, want hij en zijn karakter slaan aan bij de kleine kindjes. Wannabe hip hopper met een legertintje die dan vroeger nog freestyle rhymes uit zijn botten sloeg. Gouden formule.

Daar heb ik werkelijk schijt aan.

Hij is voor de vierde keer wereldkampioen mogen worden met dezelfde formule waaraan hij zich al 4 jaar noodgedwongen aan moet vasthouden. Een formule, die door zijn houterige performance al na 2 weken overgewaardeerd was. Zondag staat hij in de "Elimination Chamber" waar hij uiteraard weer de bovenhand zal hebben. Zo staat hij bekend. "Super Man".

Dat er dan anderen het deksel op de neus krijgen, maakt niets uit. Voor mij wel, want het zijn gewoonlijk die met talent die het op hun bord krijgen. Tuurlijk, je hebt iemand met talent nodig om iemand die constant zijn weg kwijt is in de ring er een beetje goed te doen uitzien. Raad eens onder welke categorie de heer Cena valt.

Dan is er nog Chris Jericho. Oh, wat vind ik dat een heerlijke kerel. Op de niet homofiele manier welteverstaan. Vroeger was hij als de heel de komische anti-held. Iedereen droeg hem op handen ook al moest hij eigenlijk uitgejouwd worden. Nu gaat de geheel andere kant uit. Hij is nog steeds een heel, maar oh zo serieus. Veel mensen vinden hem saai, maar daar ben ik nog niet half mee akkoord. Die gast is immens goed in zijn rol. Je kan niet anders dan hem haten. Buitengewoon talent. Het is dan ook niet verbazend dat Chris Jericho al een slachtoffer is geweest van John Cena.

Jericho is de beste heel van het moment. Waarom? De fans geloven echt dat hij door- en doorslecht is. Vorige zaterdag vertrok hij na een live event met zijn huurwagen aan de arena. Hij werd omringd door een hoop fans, waarbij één fan zelfs op de motorkap kroop. Hij stapt uit en krijgt meteen de volle laag. Provocatie, waardoor hij 1 vrouw knal in het gezicht sloeg.

Oei, vrouwen slaan!? Dat mag niet. Eigenlijk niet, maar ze droeg een T-Shirt van John Cena. Dus al had ze niets gedaan, een klap had ze sowieso verdiend. Jericho komt er ongedeerd uit, de fans niet. De vrouw en haar vriend worden gearresteerd op grond van provocatie en weetikveelwatnogallemaal. Ze worden terug vrijgelaten diezelfde dag.

Heerlijk vind ik dat. Het doet me zelfs een beetje denken aan de periode 1997-2002. De gouden era toen iedere fan niets te klagen had. Oh, wat mis ik die dagen.

Iedere keer als John Cena's muziek door de arena knalt, denk ik met weemoed terug aan de dagen van The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, D-Generation X, Y2J en WCW, met Kevin Nash, Sting, The Filthy Animals etc ... heerlijke tijd. *snik*

Ach ja, ik zal er mee moeten leren leven dat de biz verandert, er zijn gelukkig nog altijd mediums die wel een fatsoenlijk product kunnen neerzetten. Ring of Honor (die dankzij de film "The Wrestler" ook lekker uitgebreid in de media komt) bijvoorbeeld. Heerlijk achteruit hangen en kijken terwijl 's werelds beste er alles tegenaan gooien om de fans te doen schreeuwen. Zo moet het zijn.

.Delirious


Now listening: Ranetki - Ranetki (2006) full album.
Russian pop rock / self-proclaimed Street Rock.

Now reading: Eric Bischoff - "Controversy creates Cash".