I wanted to see the look on your faces when you thought I was gonna devote a new entry entirely to Vickie Guerrero. Matter of factly, the title is the beginning of my opening sentence:
Excuse me while I make futile attempts to hide the gigantic fan boner I got from this CM Punk storyline that's going on right now.
Goodness me, this has turned out to be the single greatest story WWE has come up with in the past decade. Punk's promo work in the past months have been off the charts. Not so subtle references to Colt Cabana, ROH, NJPW and what not? I LOVE IT! I've been a fan of Punk for a long time, simply because he's the kinda guy you wouldn't believe has any charisma until he grabs hold of a microphone (or not even that in some instances) and delivers a promo that is truthful, hilarious and breaks kayfabe like a motherfucker. That's what WWE has offered recently.
I'm not gonna give you the rundown of what has happened since Punk first grabbed that microphone after becoming #1 contender, because it's widely documented. Just go on youtube, type in "CM Punk" and "Promo" and it'll pop up.
His promo delivery and his victory at MITB to become champ and leave the company immediately after would remind anyone of Bret Hart and a certain incident in Montréal of which nobody ever talks, besides it being kayfabed. I wouldn't really agree, but more on that.
Punk shows up pretty much everywhere where WWE stars are to taunt them (in particular Triple H) except in a WWE ring. He attends indy shows where he flaunts the belt to everyone. On RAW, in the meantime, Vince gets sacked and replaced with Triple H as COO. Ironically, Vince has never been a COO. Vince's final act is to crown a new WWE Champion because Punk is absent. Rey wins the title only to drop it to Cena about 2 hours later. Ehhhh, rewind that..
The stipulation at MITB was that if Punk won, Cena would be fired as well. Immediately everyone thought: "YAY! FINALLY a much needed period off tv to repackage him and freshen up his character! FUCKING FINALLY". Of course not, with Triple H replacing Vince, Cena was allowed to stay and any opportunity to make him relevant again was out the window. Well, you can't have it all.
Anyways, Cena wins the belt, celebrates and then all of a sudden a familiar theme song starts playing. It's not "This Fire Burns" by KsE, but rather "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour. Anyone who has seen just a little of ROH pre-2006 knows the shit is about to go down. And indeed, there is Punk, raising the original belt in front of Cena, pretty much signalling that he's back.
This storyline has drawn me in again, completely. There are some slight remarks that I have on this storyline however:
I've already said that a Cena "firing" would be a blessing in disguise. He could spend some time to freshen up his character, heal some nagging injuries and most of all, send pictures over twitter of himself topless, almost showing his crotch to female and certain male fans. Eh, to each his own. Not very PG, John. Unless PG stands for Pretty Gruesome.
CM Punk returned too quickly. In terms of storyline, it wouldn't have been bad if Punk had shown up everywhere the next couple of weeks, except in a WWE ring. From a business POV, it's understandable. WWE has to push this encounter between Cena and Punk like a motherfucker for Summerslam buyrates. With Summerfest being one of the big four pay per views in WWE and buyrates dropping faster than Melina in the men's locker room, they need this rematch to happen then and there.
CM Punk's new old theme. While Cult of Personality is a great song and a good theme ... I feel it would've been more epic if they used Miseria Cantare instead. The song has been synonymous with Punk for the better part of a decade and even half a wrestling fan would've marked out, climaxing with Punk's appearance. I'm just saying. Still holding out for Bryan Danielson to appear while the Final Countdown is playing.
TNA has been doing pretty well, as much as it pains me to say it. They've actually been doing remotely ok with the BFG series, which is difficult to do, considering Hogan and his cavemen stooges shit on everything that's considered mid-card or lower-card (read: everyone under 50).
Sting, however is making a mockery out of himself and his iconic crow character by doing a poor Heath Ledger's Joker. ART THOU FORNICATING SERIOUS? (pun very much intended). The sad fact that this character is over as fuck just shows how sad the general crowd at the Universal studios really is. Fucking Vince Russo.
To paraphrase the legendary Cornette: "I'm on a low carb diet, just so I can outlive that piece of shit so I can take a piss on his fucking headstone!"
In other news, I've finally figured out what the fuck was wrong with my pc. About 8 months ago, I started getting flickering lines all over my screen. "Fucking annoying" doesn't even grasp the idea of it. For 7 months I tried everything to get it away, to no avail. I wouldn't believe it was my monitor itself, because fucking hell, the thing cost 200€ and it was only a year and a half old.
I ended up switching monitors with my dad and he had the same shit I had. So, switch back for the time being, and get a new monitor. Got a Fujitsu now, no problems anymore and a great piece of advice for everyone.
Don't buy anything Packard Bell, you'll end up being screwed in the ass faster than a prison bitch.
With that, I bid you farewell for now. I hope I have wasted some of your precious time. As always, the pleasure is all mine. Now feel free to return to your Japanese midget porn :)
~D.
maandag 1 augustus 2011
zondag 19 juni 2011
Stressful escape from exams, because I have some shit to talk about.
Sup all?
I do not consider Alex Riley to be immensely talented, but the kid can talk and can hold his own in the ring. He's already over as a face (solely due to the credit of Miz, who is so over as a heel that anyone who goes against him is automatically over as a face). Miz simply doesn't get enough credit for what he's become. By his own merit, he became a legitimate main event player. He's jobbing to Cena, so that makes him a top tier guy.
Why? Because the people who run it are still obvious morons. From Eric Bischoff flaunting 1.1 ratings as a massive success (why the fuck would you be proud of a 1.1 rating?) to Hulk Hogan calling wrestling fans "morons".
There's been a recurring theme in John Cena matches recently. It involves his opponent defeating him with the decision being reversed. I think this is particularly interesting, because it could be perceived as jabbing towards smarks, who continue to passionately hate him. It started at Wrestlemania, and it happened again at the previous ppv, whose name is so memorable I've forgotten it already (mindset = backlash, judgement day, etc.)
The thing is, what purpose does this serve? I questioned the Wrestlemania finish, and then it was done to give Rocky an opportunity to impose his presence. At the previous pay per view, it provided the incentive for Miz to turn on his blockheaded yay-sayer. Because of that, WWE creative is forgiven.
I do not consider Alex Riley to be immensely talented, but the kid can talk and can hold his own in the ring. He's already over as a face (solely due to the credit of Miz, who is so over as a heel that anyone who goes against him is automatically over as a face). Miz simply doesn't get enough credit for what he's become. By his own merit, he became a legitimate main event player. He's jobbing to Cena, so that makes him a top tier guy.
Cena as WWE champ? I could easily do without. Regardless, I hope he retains the title at Capitol Punishment tonight. I namely have zero interest in R-Truth. Sure, the guy has impressive physique and he's over as a heel, but to me, he'll always be the rapper/flipper who got sacked on his first WWF run, after teaming with Road Dogg for all eternity. One could argue that Ron Killings is gaining a shitload of momentum right now, turning heel and interacting in such fashion with the audience, but really ... his segments bore me to tears.
Over on SmackDown, things are somewhat looking up. Christian continues to receive title shots (though this will likely be his last) and he's been pretty over as an asshole heel. The heel turn was done at the perfect moment. He didn't turn right after losing the world championship, but it was instead treated as a turn that was long time coming. That's a better creative path to follow than turn heel without any prior signs (Mark Henry) or because someone tells you to (Khali).
It's safe to say that Christian is gaining a lot of momentum, but is given very little time to shine. Him working with Orton is a blessing. Orton continuously displays this Terminator-like demeanor when he's cutting promos, so a more in your face charismatic heel to oppose that makes for some entertaining tv.
All WWE needs right now is to build up a heel as good as CM Punk does it now. CM Punk is, at this moment, one of the most hated heels in the business, because he literally is better than everyone. The downside is that Punk wants time off to revitalise himself, which I can perfectly understand if you've been on the road continuously for 5 years, not even staying home when rehabbing an injury.
(Though CM Punk commentary is by far the most entertaining WWE has put on in the past 5 years).
CM Punk has reached the point in his career where he can manage turning down a contract extension from WWE and take a sabbatical. WWE can't afford to lose him to any other company so when Punk is ready to go back, he'll be welcomed with open arms. Hell, they'll probably give him the Jericho treatment and not publically announce his departure and instead pretend nothing happened.
All in all, I hope to see CM Punk gracing WWE rings for a long time to come. He's been one of the very few interesting people active there.
TNA has been making some "decent" moves (at best). They've taken the title off Sting and are looking to put Robert "Bobby" Roode in a main event position. I'd like to imagine they're smarting up, but I'll knock on wood.
Why? Because the people who run it are still obvious morons. From Eric Bischoff flaunting 1.1 ratings as a massive success (why the fuck would you be proud of a 1.1 rating?) to Hulk Hogan calling wrestling fans "morons".
Yeah, Hulk Hogan was called out on him (and his eternal politics) being the reason for WCW's demise. Hulky reiterated that it was the moronic fans who caused WCW's failure. No side is *particularly* right. Hulk Hogan is plain wrong, the fan is partially right. Face facts. WCW's downfall was because of the combined efforts of:
- Hulk Hogan
- Eric Bischoff (and his approval of working with Vince Russo again, despite huge differences)
- Vince Russo (his lack of professionality and inability to come up with proper storylines or match concepts)
- Ed Ferrara
- Kevin Nash
- Ric Flair
- Ted Turner selling his Turner Broadcasting to AOL Time Warner.
Vince Russo will of course make a match between Hogan and the fan (though Hogan now vehemently denies putting anything of the sort on his page). He's still brainstorming, however, as to what they'll be hanging from a pole.
The funniest thing about this entire thing is that someone who was/is in the business has ranted on Hogan treating fans of pro wrestling the way he does. That someone being The Ultimate Warrior. Out of every person who has ever been in the business, Ultimate Warrior is the voice of reason. Ultimate fucking Warrior. The only person who was less coherent than Ahmed Johnson is the voice of fucking reason. It's like I'm watching a particularly bad comedy. For the first (and likely last) time, I'm on the side of Ultimate Warrior. Hogan's behaviour has annoyed me for many years now. Suck on that, Brother.
Also, Chris "Hero" Spradlin and Claudio Castagnoli (bka the Kings of Wrestling) were spotted at a WWE event recently, working out with the ring crew. Everyone believes they'll be signed. OH HOLY FUCK YES!
Well, that's about it for now. I must get back to studying. In the meantime, feel free to check here for a review of Amorphis' The Beginning of Times, which has been listened to death by yours truly since its release last month.
Take care,
~D.
dinsdag 31 mei 2011
Courtesy update part II
How is it going y'all?
Pardon my southern welcome. It's been a long day. I came off writing a hefty psychology essay that was too long for comfort and I felt like writing about something that *does* interest me.
It's been a rather uneventful few weeks since I last updated with a hilarious new entry. School has kept me in a vicegrip and it's not going to loosen up for a few more weeks. Considering I'm pretty much on schedule in terms of assignments, there aren't any worries.
Not for me, anyways.
Sadly enough, the fans (and wrestlers) had to say goodbye to Randy "Savage" Poffo. One violent car crash later and the Macho Man was cruisin' for his booking up above. Figuratively speaking, obviously.
The past few weeks have been rather consistent.TNA Impact Wrestling has some "Cornette Face"- booking going on. (Sting is still champion, Russo is still there; same goes for Bischoff and Hogan). Homegrown talent is still sitting out PPV's. You catch the drift, I'm sure.
WWE has been slightly more entertaining. On one hand, you got a Khali heel turn, which will be about as effective as dieting is for Mark Henry. Khali's new partner in crime seems like a kid who can properly work, so at least one guy is gonna be entertaining when Khali hits the ring. That's definitely less cringeworthy than a Hogan vs Sting match taking place soon.
On the other hand, you've got Randy Orton and Christian working a program around the WHC (though really, the belt's on the wrong guy). Not to mention the fact that the main contender for the diva's title is ... Kelly Kelly.
I realise there's a proper shortage of valid contenders but having Kelly is pushing it. If you look back at Kelly's matches since 2006, you realise she lost a good number of them (about 99%). The sole reason I remember that is because to me, she's the only diva who's cockmelting hot.
At Over the Limit, we saw the debut of Kharma, who is an amazing if not awesome wrestler/diva, despite the fact she resembles King Kong. Or Aja Kong, for good measure. Let's recollect, shall we?
Vignettes aired, a lot. She's probably the only diva who has had a proper build up leading towards her debut. Including the slightly corny "You can't spell Kharma without harm" - shtick. Fair deal, she's good.
So she had this awesome build up, complete with decimating everyone in sight. Then last week, she drops to her knees, cries and everybody's questioning what the fuck is up.
"fuck" is perhaps the best way to describe what is up. Kia Stevens, 270 pounds of hurt, is pregnant. Truthfully, a woman who looks like she eats concrete for breakfast isn't the kinda girl I'd unfurl my schlong to.
But, her obgyn was pretty specific when she asked. She's effectively "expecting". Regardless of the awful timing and possible release she'll be facing ... congratulations, Kia. But if they'll call you Kharmama from now on, I will set fire to the house of Vince Russo. I know he wouldn't have anything to do with it, but he's truly the only one who deserves it. And I'd probably be selling dry grass at the streetcorner if it happened.
In happy news, Jim Cornette is planning to release Cornette face t-shirts! Yippee! And now Maffew (of Botchamania fame) is trying to anxiously contact Cornette, because he's already selling 'em. Heh.
In related news, june 9th is the official "Cornette-face"-day. That day, you are to change your profile picture on various sites to the famous Cornette face. DO IT.
This is probably going to be it for a while. Unless something actually happens that makes me go "huh?" (excluding TNA programming), this won't be updated as frequently as usual (hahaha!)
Oh, I've watched every single episode of Tough Enough so far (except the one aired yesterday) and I simply love the fact that Bill DeMott is a vat of great one-liners. He's like my second-favorite comedian now.
~D.
Pardon my southern welcome. It's been a long day. I came off writing a hefty psychology essay that was too long for comfort and I felt like writing about something that *does* interest me.
It's been a rather uneventful few weeks since I last updated with a hilarious new entry. School has kept me in a vicegrip and it's not going to loosen up for a few more weeks. Considering I'm pretty much on schedule in terms of assignments, there aren't any worries.
Not for me, anyways.
Sadly enough, the fans (and wrestlers) had to say goodbye to Randy "Savage" Poffo. One violent car crash later and the Macho Man was cruisin' for his booking up above. Figuratively speaking, obviously.
The past few weeks have been rather consistent.
WWE has been slightly more entertaining. On one hand, you got a Khali heel turn, which will be about as effective as dieting is for Mark Henry. Khali's new partner in crime seems like a kid who can properly work, so at least one guy is gonna be entertaining when Khali hits the ring. That's definitely less cringeworthy than a Hogan vs Sting match taking place soon.
On the other hand, you've got Randy Orton and Christian working a program around the WHC (though really, the belt's on the wrong guy). Not to mention the fact that the main contender for the diva's title is ... Kelly Kelly.
I realise there's a proper shortage of valid contenders but having Kelly is pushing it. If you look back at Kelly's matches since 2006, you realise she lost a good number of them (about 99%). The sole reason I remember that is because to me, she's the only diva who's cockmelting hot.
At Over the Limit, we saw the debut of Kharma, who is an amazing if not awesome wrestler/diva, despite the fact she resembles King Kong. Or Aja Kong, for good measure. Let's recollect, shall we?
Vignettes aired, a lot. She's probably the only diva who has had a proper build up leading towards her debut. Including the slightly corny "You can't spell Kharma without harm" - shtick. Fair deal, she's good.
So she had this awesome build up, complete with decimating everyone in sight. Then last week, she drops to her knees, cries and everybody's questioning what the fuck is up.
"fuck" is perhaps the best way to describe what is up. Kia Stevens, 270 pounds of hurt, is pregnant. Truthfully, a woman who looks like she eats concrete for breakfast isn't the kinda girl I'd unfurl my schlong to.
But, her obgyn was pretty specific when she asked. She's effectively "expecting". Regardless of the awful timing and possible release she'll be facing ... congratulations, Kia. But if they'll call you Kharmama from now on, I will set fire to the house of Vince Russo. I know he wouldn't have anything to do with it, but he's truly the only one who deserves it. And I'd probably be selling dry grass at the streetcorner if it happened.
In happy news, Jim Cornette is planning to release Cornette face t-shirts! Yippee! And now Maffew (of Botchamania fame) is trying to anxiously contact Cornette, because he's already selling 'em. Heh.
In related news, june 9th is the official "Cornette-face"-day. That day, you are to change your profile picture on various sites to the famous Cornette face. DO IT.
This is probably going to be it for a while. Unless something actually happens that makes me go "huh?" (excluding TNA programming), this won't be updated as frequently as usual (hahaha!)
Oh, I've watched every single episode of Tough Enough so far (except the one aired yesterday) and I simply love the fact that Bill DeMott is a vat of great one-liners. He's like my second-favorite comedian now.
~D.
maandag 9 mei 2011
World Heavyweight Trainwreck.
wuddup?
I don't think I need to explain why I'm unhappy with the current state of affairs on SD. TV time for Mark Henry and Khali? Sheesh, there's ethics to consider. Anyways, last Sunday, The World Heavyweight Championship (which belonged to Edge before he retired, in case WWE didn't stuff that down your throats enough by now) was on the line in a ladder match. A bloodbath and a bunch of bruises later, Edge's best friend Christian unhooked the belt and was declared champion. YAYYYYYYY! Seventeen years and he finally got his first world title.
Ok, let's forget his two previous NWA World title reigns (after all, the WWE championship is the most coveted prize in the business. Ahem). I can live with the fact that WWE won't namedrop a "rival" company. I use that term very loosely these days.
What I can't seem to wrap my head around is the fact that Christian holds it for two days, gets challenged and is forced to drop it. Not to put someone new over ... nope, Christian jobbed so Randy Orton could have his 8th world title. Why the fuck do you want to do this?
Backstage musings claim that Vince, among others, wants Randy Orton to be the actual top dog on SmackDown, and he needs something to exemplify that. No he fucking doesn't. Randy Orton is over, people. Didn't you hear the cheers when his ridiculously cheesy rock music started playing? (I really fucking hate that theme)
It gets "better". Christian seemingly only won the World Title as a favor to Edge. Yup, a favor. The same reason why Rey Mysterio went way out of his league and left Mania 22 with the world title. Christian is well liked, but nobody believes that he's that over. Because fans cheering him does not constitute being over as a face. I must be missing something here.
So now, Randy Orton will headlock his way towards a lengthy, but not-exactly-new-title-reign. I can't say I'm excited. I like Randy's work (aside from the million headlocks) but seriously? Robotic promos galore. Can't wait.
One Chris Jericho immediately went on twitter and announced his displeasure of the fans' malcontent: "To all those bitching about SmackDown: ever think it might be part of a bigger storyline?"
Well, Chris, I hope so, but that still doesn't constitute a two day WHC reign. He could've AT LEAST held on to it for a good three months. You know, averagely speaking. Basically a message of: "Hey, I see you're over. We're gonna give you a run with the belt, but don't get attached to it. Because to us, you're still nothing."
The fact that John Cena's in his umpteenth reign? I wish I could've cared, but spouting the same arguments every time. Nah, he's still too over.
But how shitty WWE's booking may be, you can always rely on TNA to consistently outperform them on shitty angles and poor booking. I may not have been up to date on the whole TNA business, but I gathered that Kurt Angle and Jeff Jarrett are feuding because Angle's ex-wife banged Double J and proceeded to marry the guy. Yay, typical Russo garbage.
Now, Angle and Jarrett have been head-to-head a few times, and then Angle reveals he has a mistress. Boy, Russo is outdoing himself. The mistress is revealed some time later. You already go into it with the idea that it's gonna be shit, and still TNA manages to hit you sideways with something shittier than you expected.
Kurt Angle's mistress? ... Chyna.
Looking for something witty there to go with it? No need to, the idea itself is a fucking joke. Though I'm sure she and Jeff Hardy will get along just fine.
TNA should really get a medal, for charitable purposes and for being consistently underwhelming.
Oh, and the final note: TNA Impact is now "Impact Wrestling", so they can focus on the wrestling aspect and cater to those fans. How do they plan to do that? With about 20-25 minutes of wrestling (part of which poor women's action) in a 2-hour show. Good job, guys.
So while WWE's booking decisions may be consistently strange, they won't have to fear, because TNA is there to make them up north look good. I guess TNA is destined for a 1._ rating 4 life.
~D.
I don't think I need to explain why I'm unhappy with the current state of affairs on SD. TV time for Mark Henry and Khali? Sheesh, there's ethics to consider. Anyways, last Sunday, The World Heavyweight Championship (which belonged to Edge before he retired, in case WWE didn't stuff that down your throats enough by now) was on the line in a ladder match. A bloodbath and a bunch of bruises later, Edge's best friend Christian unhooked the belt and was declared champion. YAYYYYYYY! Seventeen years and he finally got his first world title.
Ok, let's forget his two previous NWA World title reigns (after all, the WWE championship is the most coveted prize in the business. Ahem). I can live with the fact that WWE won't namedrop a "rival" company. I use that term very loosely these days.
What I can't seem to wrap my head around is the fact that Christian holds it for two days, gets challenged and is forced to drop it. Not to put someone new over ... nope, Christian jobbed so Randy Orton could have his 8th world title. Why the fuck do you want to do this?
Backstage musings claim that Vince, among others, wants Randy Orton to be the actual top dog on SmackDown, and he needs something to exemplify that. No he fucking doesn't. Randy Orton is over, people. Didn't you hear the cheers when his ridiculously cheesy rock music started playing? (I really fucking hate that theme)
It gets "better". Christian seemingly only won the World Title as a favor to Edge. Yup, a favor. The same reason why Rey Mysterio went way out of his league and left Mania 22 with the world title. Christian is well liked, but nobody believes that he's that over. Because fans cheering him does not constitute being over as a face. I must be missing something here.
So now, Randy Orton will headlock his way towards a lengthy, but not-exactly-new-title-reign. I can't say I'm excited. I like Randy's work (aside from the million headlocks) but seriously? Robotic promos galore. Can't wait.
One Chris Jericho immediately went on twitter and announced his displeasure of the fans' malcontent: "To all those bitching about SmackDown: ever think it might be part of a bigger storyline?"
Well, Chris, I hope so, but that still doesn't constitute a two day WHC reign. He could've AT LEAST held on to it for a good three months. You know, averagely speaking. Basically a message of: "Hey, I see you're over. We're gonna give you a run with the belt, but don't get attached to it. Because to us, you're still nothing."
The fact that John Cena's in his umpteenth reign? I wish I could've cared, but spouting the same arguments every time. Nah, he's still too over.
But how shitty WWE's booking may be, you can always rely on TNA to consistently outperform them on shitty angles and poor booking. I may not have been up to date on the whole TNA business, but I gathered that Kurt Angle and Jeff Jarrett are feuding because Angle's ex-wife banged Double J and proceeded to marry the guy. Yay, typical Russo garbage.
Now, Angle and Jarrett have been head-to-head a few times, and then Angle reveals he has a mistress. Boy, Russo is outdoing himself. The mistress is revealed some time later. You already go into it with the idea that it's gonna be shit, and still TNA manages to hit you sideways with something shittier than you expected.
Kurt Angle's mistress? ... Chyna.
Looking for something witty there to go with it? No need to, the idea itself is a fucking joke. Though I'm sure she and Jeff Hardy will get along just fine.
TNA should really get a medal, for charitable purposes and for being consistently underwhelming.
Oh, and the final note: TNA Impact is now "Impact Wrestling", so they can focus on the wrestling aspect and cater to those fans. How do they plan to do that? With about 20-25 minutes of wrestling (part of which poor women's action) in a 2-hour show. Good job, guys.
So while WWE's booking decisions may be consistently strange, they won't have to fear, because TNA is there to make them up north look good. I guess TNA is destined for a 1._ rating 4 life.
~D.
woensdag 13 april 2011
Off the Road
Hi
Something very ironic struck me these past few days. Wrestlemania time has passed and now, the big shit starts happening.
First, the entire US independent circuit was saddened by the loss of Alex Whybrow, better known to indy enthusiasts as "Sweet 'n Sour" Larry Sweeney. Half of the pro wrestling audience didn't know who Alex was and that, my friends, is a crying shame. If there's anyone charismatic enough to build a company around and who was an exceptional manager and wrestler, the name Larry Sweeney was continuously brought up.
It was heart breaking to see all the indy guys on Facebook mourning the loss of a guy who shook the foundations of the indies as an exceptional stick handler. It's only then that we learned that behind the facade of the character, there was a troubled man. I don't think any fan could've deciphered that Alex was bi-polar, suffering from very big mood swings to the point where he committed suicide by hanging.
Do yourself a favour and watch some of his stuff on Youtube or any other video-sharing community. Be it a match, a move or a goddamn awesome promo. Whatever it is, you'll eventually agree that his passing is a tremendous loss to the wrestling world.
Therefore, my condolences to his family, friends, colleagues and anyone who knew the man. May he rest in peace.
And then, barely recovered from the news of Larry Sweeney's passing, you get breaking news with the equivalence of getting a kick in the balls with a spiked iron boot.
Edge retires and that sucks ass. Edge was one of the guys I actually idolised, because he was a goof and his friendship with Christian (who is still my all-time favorite along with William Regal) made for some awesome on-screen chemistry.
I've been an EdgeHead for most of my life, and the fact that he had to retire came as a blow. You know, he just wrestled the week before and everything seemed fine. It turns out that Adam's body (I will refer to him by his given name from now on) wouldn't be able to hold up much longer. Given that he's been suffering from numbness in his arms and add that up to his neck fusion surgery around 2004, you can see why it was simply enough reason for him to no longer risk his body. I prefer retired Adam over paraplegic or dead Adam, to be honest.
The reactions from colleagues and friends was truly amazing. All of them hogged social networks like Twitter to praise his work and legacy in the business. Except Hulk Hogan, who of course had to divert the attention to himself. No point in elaborating, anyone who has read any entries in this blog knows how I feel about Hogan.
The show of respect that Edge received from his peers, his fans and his family was immensely cool. For anyone who thinks this is a work ... you'd have to admit they'd go great lengths if it was.
edge tribute albany ny door Drunkninjamast420
Now, it's very likely that WWE will allow Christian to take the empty spot, as a gesture to Adam. If you have been reading SmackDown spoilers, you'll find out whether or not that holds truth.
I'm gonna miss Adam as Edge. He was one of the guys in WWE who has been continuously entertaining. Not to mention the fact that he's one of the guys who, through hard work, managed to break the glass ceiling by winning the WWE title (from John Cena no less!), coming from a position as glorified mid-carder and tag-team specialist.
I'll find consolation in the fact that Christian is still there to entertain the smark in me and that E&C managed to reunite, albeit briefly, before Edge waved goodbye. Wrestlemania 29 in Toronto and Edge as headline HOF inductee please.
Okay, I'm done with the goodbyes.
Tough Enough was awesome again, though I'm a little bummed they eliminated Matt Cross/MDogg20/Matt Cappicioni. He didn't impress the trainers enough, but should've gotten a better chance. You can't expect someone who has been working on his character for 9 years to throw his personality around in the blink of an eye. Regardless, I would like to point out that Tough Enough really is made by the presence of Bill DeMott.
I was a fan of Hugh Morrus/General Hugh G. Rection but this really puts him over with me.
Alrighty, I'm done.
~D.
Something very ironic struck me these past few days. Wrestlemania time has passed and now, the big shit starts happening.
First, the entire US independent circuit was saddened by the loss of Alex Whybrow, better known to indy enthusiasts as "Sweet 'n Sour" Larry Sweeney. Half of the pro wrestling audience didn't know who Alex was and that, my friends, is a crying shame. If there's anyone charismatic enough to build a company around and who was an exceptional manager and wrestler, the name Larry Sweeney was continuously brought up.
It was heart breaking to see all the indy guys on Facebook mourning the loss of a guy who shook the foundations of the indies as an exceptional stick handler. It's only then that we learned that behind the facade of the character, there was a troubled man. I don't think any fan could've deciphered that Alex was bi-polar, suffering from very big mood swings to the point where he committed suicide by hanging.
Do yourself a favour and watch some of his stuff on Youtube or any other video-sharing community. Be it a match, a move or a goddamn awesome promo. Whatever it is, you'll eventually agree that his passing is a tremendous loss to the wrestling world.
Therefore, my condolences to his family, friends, colleagues and anyone who knew the man. May he rest in peace.
And then, barely recovered from the news of Larry Sweeney's passing, you get breaking news with the equivalence of getting a kick in the balls with a spiked iron boot.
Edge retires and that sucks ass. Edge was one of the guys I actually idolised, because he was a goof and his friendship with Christian (who is still my all-time favorite along with William Regal) made for some awesome on-screen chemistry.
I've been an EdgeHead for most of my life, and the fact that he had to retire came as a blow. You know, he just wrestled the week before and everything seemed fine. It turns out that Adam's body (I will refer to him by his given name from now on) wouldn't be able to hold up much longer. Given that he's been suffering from numbness in his arms and add that up to his neck fusion surgery around 2004, you can see why it was simply enough reason for him to no longer risk his body. I prefer retired Adam over paraplegic or dead Adam, to be honest.
The reactions from colleagues and friends was truly amazing. All of them hogged social networks like Twitter to praise his work and legacy in the business. Except Hulk Hogan, who of course had to divert the attention to himself. No point in elaborating, anyone who has read any entries in this blog knows how I feel about Hogan.
The show of respect that Edge received from his peers, his fans and his family was immensely cool. For anyone who thinks this is a work ... you'd have to admit they'd go great lengths if it was.
edge tribute albany ny door Drunkninjamast420
Now, it's very likely that WWE will allow Christian to take the empty spot, as a gesture to Adam. If you have been reading SmackDown spoilers, you'll find out whether or not that holds truth.
I'm gonna miss Adam as Edge. He was one of the guys in WWE who has been continuously entertaining. Not to mention the fact that he's one of the guys who, through hard work, managed to break the glass ceiling by winning the WWE title (from John Cena no less!), coming from a position as glorified mid-carder and tag-team specialist.
I'll find consolation in the fact that Christian is still there to entertain the smark in me and that E&C managed to reunite, albeit briefly, before Edge waved goodbye. Wrestlemania 29 in Toronto and Edge as headline HOF inductee please.
Okay, I'm done with the goodbyes.
Tough Enough was awesome again, though I'm a little bummed they eliminated Matt Cross/MDogg20/Matt Cappicioni. He didn't impress the trainers enough, but should've gotten a better chance. You can't expect someone who has been working on his character for 9 years to throw his personality around in the blink of an eye. Regardless, I would like to point out that Tough Enough really is made by the presence of Bill DeMott.
I was a fan of Hugh Morrus/General Hugh G. Rection but this really puts him over with me.
Alrighty, I'm done.
~D.
dinsdag 5 april 2011
Vince Russo is a ninja & other World Entertainment musings
-insert gnarly introduction here-
So, Wrestlemania has passed on, and I was glad I didn't have high hopes for it.
Just by reading the results, I got a pretty clear view of the event, which did not entice me to watch it ... at all.
Which is what the title references. I truly believe that Vince Russo infiltrated the offices in Stamford and poured his man-juice all over the script.
Let me run it down for you.
Edge vs Alberto Del Rio, "World Title Match". If you booked WWE programming, would this be your curtain jerker? I fucking think not. They fucking thought so. Nevertheless, I was surprised that Edge walked out with the belt. I was equally annoyed that Christian did not turn on Edge. That was the window.
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes. Filler match nobody in their right mind would care for. What's notable? Cody Rhodes went over. Pretty neat stuff for a guy who is part of the "Knights of Boredom".
8-man tag match. The Core with an extra r vs Kane/Show/Kofi/Santino. A match that could've easily gone 20 minutes was cut short to ... a minute and a half. Yup, good job making a villain team look strong while getting their ass handed to them by a collection of boys who wouldn't get booked otherwise.
Punk vs Orton. They both are the future of the company, and they have proven once again why. These guys have a great storyline going on (even though the basis lies at Unforgiven 2008, which half of the audience won't even know about.). These guys know how to get an exciting match going. Exciting as in emphasis on actual pro wrestling.
The skits, I could care less for. I don't think anyone paid for Pee Wee Herman. Just saying.
PISS BREAK IMMINENT. Jerry Lawler faces Michael Cole.
Random note. Michael Cole has tattoos. Silly tattoos. Hearts and shit. It does not make him look cool. There, I said it. Match was over quickly. Jerry makes Cole tap, "Anonymous RAW GM" reverses the decision because Stone Cold got involved. Predictable as hell. Yawn.
Funny note: this match lasted nearly 14 minutes.
Next up, the match everyone's been waiting for. Taker going 19-0 over the Game. (You have now lost, btw)
Just reading over the course of the match, my suspicions were confirmed. This does not even come close to their previous Mania encounter at X-Seven. You know, the match WWE vehemently denies ever taking place. Taker apparently did sell the match like a motherfucker. All props to Taker. In the state he's in and still going 30 minutes in a No Holds Barred match featuring the usual Mania spots has to be commended.
Oh, and Trips traded in Motorhead for 'Tallica's "Bells". Appropriate, I guess.
PISS BREAK NUMERO DOS! JoMo, Trish and the Trollololol vs LayCool &Nicky from the Spirit Squad Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero. Roughly 3 minutes later and we witness the Jersey Troll pinning Michelle McCool. McCool must have really pissed off someone high up.
Miz vs Cena. What everyone (including me) expected did NOT happen. Guess Russo missed that spot with his man-juice. Miz made Miztory as he actually became the first one to beat John Cena at Wrestlemania in a couple years! Yay!
Ok, initially it ended in a draw, but Rock wouldn't have it. Some shtick ensues. Match gets restarted because Rocky wants it (wait, since when does the host get this kinda power?). Cena wants to go for the FU, Rocky hits Cena with his "patented" Rock Bottom. Miz pins Cena for the win. Neat.
Based on this, I don't want to watch the event. Simple as that ... maybe except for the William Regal rap. It's so uncomfortable and stomach-turning each time Regal raps that I just can't get enough of it. They shouldn't be legal, tbh.
I watched portions of RAW, including the US Title match that was suspiciously cut off from the event. Sheamus retained, "Sin Cara" debuted and kicked Sheamus' ass. All hail Sin Cara's trampoline-aided botched top rope tumble. I'm intrigued nonetheless.
I saw Tough Enough as well. Pretty good first episode. Great that they acknowledged the indie work of some contestants. The main highlights of the show? Bill DeMott. I had forgotten how awesome this guy is and how awesome the character "Hugh Morrus" was. Though,"no joke", this first episode immediately showed that it was "no laughing matter". (See what I did?)
Also, during the meeting between Stone Cold and the trainers to see who has piss off outta there, Bill made me shortlist him for quote of the year.
"He's green as goose shit". Note, I randomly put that on twitter, and Bill almost immediately retweeted that. Pride and shit.
Much to my own surprise, I enjoyed Tough Enough. The one that got booted was the only one who actually annoyed me. Whatever. That girl made one of my favorite moments from that episode. Imagine:
SCSA: Whoa, wrestling is a NEW passion?
Girl: Yeah!
SCSA: What's your favorite match?
Girl: The one between Melina and Alicia Fox.
SCSA: Who?
Raises two questions for me...
1) What match between Melina and Alicia Fox is notable or good enough to be remembered?
2) What the fuck did she think she'd achieve with that answer?
Woman, at least do your goddamn research before enrolling. Of course, she is supposed to be eye candy anyways, so immediately upon her elimination she got signed to a developmental deal. Considering she has zilch experience, she'll probably end up in the ring within 6 months, green as goose shit.
Food for thought. Triple H ... I never thought I'd say this but ... PLEASE take over the company.
~D.
So, Wrestlemania has passed on, and I was glad I didn't have high hopes for it.
Just by reading the results, I got a pretty clear view of the event, which did not entice me to watch it ... at all.
Which is what the title references. I truly believe that Vince Russo infiltrated the offices in Stamford and poured his man-juice all over the script.
Let me run it down for you.
Edge vs Alberto Del Rio, "World Title Match". If you booked WWE programming, would this be your curtain jerker? I fucking think not. They fucking thought so. Nevertheless, I was surprised that Edge walked out with the belt. I was equally annoyed that Christian did not turn on Edge. That was the window.
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes. Filler match nobody in their right mind would care for. What's notable? Cody Rhodes went over. Pretty neat stuff for a guy who is part of the "Knights of Boredom".
8-man tag match. The Core with an extra r vs Kane/Show/Kofi/Santino. A match that could've easily gone 20 minutes was cut short to ... a minute and a half. Yup, good job making a villain team look strong while getting their ass handed to them by a collection of boys who wouldn't get booked otherwise.
Punk vs Orton. They both are the future of the company, and they have proven once again why. These guys have a great storyline going on (even though the basis lies at Unforgiven 2008, which half of the audience won't even know about.). These guys know how to get an exciting match going. Exciting as in emphasis on actual pro wrestling.
The skits, I could care less for. I don't think anyone paid for Pee Wee Herman. Just saying.
PISS BREAK IMMINENT. Jerry Lawler faces Michael Cole.
Random note. Michael Cole has tattoos. Silly tattoos. Hearts and shit. It does not make him look cool. There, I said it. Match was over quickly. Jerry makes Cole tap, "Anonymous RAW GM" reverses the decision because Stone Cold got involved. Predictable as hell. Yawn.
Funny note: this match lasted nearly 14 minutes.
Next up, the match everyone's been waiting for. Taker going 19-0 over the Game. (You have now lost, btw)
Just reading over the course of the match, my suspicions were confirmed. This does not even come close to their previous Mania encounter at X-Seven. You know, the match WWE vehemently denies ever taking place. Taker apparently did sell the match like a motherfucker. All props to Taker. In the state he's in and still going 30 minutes in a No Holds Barred match featuring the usual Mania spots has to be commended.
Oh, and Trips traded in Motorhead for 'Tallica's "Bells". Appropriate, I guess.
PISS BREAK NUMERO DOS! JoMo, Trish and the Trollololol vs LayCool &
Miz vs Cena. What everyone (including me) expected did NOT happen. Guess Russo missed that spot with his man-juice. Miz made Miztory as he actually became the first one to beat John Cena at Wrestlemania in a couple years! Yay!
Ok, initially it ended in a draw, but Rock wouldn't have it. Some shtick ensues. Match gets restarted because Rocky wants it (wait, since when does the host get this kinda power?). Cena wants to go for the FU, Rocky hits Cena with his "patented" Rock Bottom. Miz pins Cena for the win. Neat.
Based on this, I don't want to watch the event. Simple as that ... maybe except for the William Regal rap. It's so uncomfortable and stomach-turning each time Regal raps that I just can't get enough of it. They shouldn't be legal, tbh.
I watched portions of RAW, including the US Title match that was suspiciously cut off from the event. Sheamus retained, "Sin Cara" debuted and kicked Sheamus' ass. All hail Sin Cara's trampoline-aided botched top rope tumble. I'm intrigued nonetheless.
I saw Tough Enough as well. Pretty good first episode. Great that they acknowledged the indie work of some contestants. The main highlights of the show? Bill DeMott. I had forgotten how awesome this guy is and how awesome the character "Hugh Morrus" was. Though,"no joke", this first episode immediately showed that it was "no laughing matter". (See what I did?)
Also, during the meeting between Stone Cold and the trainers to see who has piss off outta there, Bill made me shortlist him for quote of the year.
"He's green as goose shit". Note, I randomly put that on twitter, and Bill almost immediately retweeted that. Pride and shit.
Much to my own surprise, I enjoyed Tough Enough. The one that got booted was the only one who actually annoyed me. Whatever. That girl made one of my favorite moments from that episode. Imagine:
SCSA: Whoa, wrestling is a NEW passion?
Girl: Yeah!
SCSA: What's your favorite match?
Girl: The one between Melina and Alicia Fox.
SCSA: Who?
Raises two questions for me...
1) What match between Melina and Alicia Fox is notable or good enough to be remembered?
2) What the fuck did she think she'd achieve with that answer?
Woman, at least do your goddamn research before enrolling. Of course, she is supposed to be eye candy anyways, so immediately upon her elimination she got signed to a developmental deal. Considering she has zilch experience, she'll probably end up in the ring within 6 months, green as goose shit.
Food for thought. Triple H ... I never thought I'd say this but ... PLEASE take over the company.
~D.
woensdag 30 maart 2011
Game Time
*The entrance theme hits and Delrihuzz enters the arena, talking to his keyboard*
JR: OH NO! AWESOME RANT! BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!
King: Hah
Cole: He ain't Miz.
All of that, just to say: hi, I'm back.
We're now five days before Wrestlemania. Time to chime in, now that the buildup for it is about to culminate in what seems to be the most star studded Wrestlemania in years. Star studded as in "Wrestling Star".
Granted, WWE has been pulling some nice work to build up their annual extravaganza, spicing it up with Stone Cold (who hasn't made a 'Mania appearance since edition 23) and The Rock, whose last Mania appearance dates as far back as edition 20. To add to the mix, they got one of the greatest female wrestlers of the 00's to strap on the boots again, five years after her official retirement. Yeah, I consider Trish Stratus one of the greatest female wrestlers from the 00's ... along with Lita.
Anyways, the fact that she's teaming up with the orange troll from Jersey Shore to face off against McCool and Layla El is a blemish at best, ... but at least Trish is getting back in there, looking as pretty as she always has. (You can bet Cena will get a boner again.) I sincerely hope JoMo and Dolph Ziggler make this match somewhat bearable. I don't really care for poorly orchestrated catfights.
Miz vs Cena could've been a show stealer, if they hadn't included Cena. You know, watching the build up over the past month made me think Cena and Rock were gonna face off at Mania, with Miz begging for attention. It would've made more sense if Rocky and Cena effectively faced off and Miz would defend his title against ... let's say JoMo. JoMo deserves a way better spot on the card than during "piss break".
Cena is a different thing ... I'll be the last to compliment Cena, but I watched the 03/28 RAW bits and I was genuinely impressed with the promo he cut on Rocky. Hell, I'm pretty sure most of it wasn't even scripted.
A match I'm looking forward to is CM Punk and Randy Orton. Both of them are wrestlers who can entertain a crowd by just opening their eyes menacingly and Punk's new role is just gorram awesome.
Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler. Gracious of WWE to allow us either an extended piss break or two separate piss breaks (dependent on where this stands on the card opposed to the divas match). Far too much build up for a match that will approximately last 25 seconds. Just saying.
8-man tag match? Filler. Most of the participants can put on a great show, and 4 opponents for Big Zeke means 4 different people can carry him through the match. Not a bad deal.
Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan could be a good match, if they don't have SOS dominate AmDrag for most of the match. With 4 hours worth of programming time, they can easily hand these boys a 20-minute match to shine.
Undertaker vs Triple H, a re-match from possibly the best match at one of the best Wrestlemanias (X-7 to me, is simply the best. Others might disagree.) Strangely, I'm not looking forward to this match at all. You know Undertaker is going to win (which means Triple H has to retire, which has been rumoured). Taker can't go anymore like he could at X-7. It's No Holds Barred to boot. In other words, they're gonna kill themselves.
And what the hell is up with Undertakers new theme? I'm all for Johnny Cash and lyrically, it's not that far off ... but it just feels wrong. The funeral march was rather fitting music for his persona...
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes. A THIRD piss break? My word, WWE thinks of everything.
Kofi vs Drew McIntyre? Could've been interesting if we hadn't seen it about 5 times before. Rooting for the Scotsman nonetheless. He's been robbed of too many opportunities now.
Edge vs Del Rio. Say what you want about Del Rio being in that spot ... the man has fantastic heat and he's got shitloads of talent. It'll be pretty interesting to see what he brings to the table. And you can almost predict that Christian is gonna turn on Edge, which results in Del Rio winning.
Is it the best Mania in years? No
Am I looking forward to it? More so than the previous few years
Will I bother watching it? Not very likely.
To be quite honest, I fucking miss Money in the Bank. It was continuously the best match on the card since Wrestlemania 22. (I know it was introduced at WM 21, but that's when Angle and HBK had the match of the night.)
In closing, Wrestlemania misses the excitement I need to effectively bother watching it.
~D.
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