Victory Road to Relapse

Aye caramba.


Since there's been very little interest in this blog (and I mean purely comment wise) I decided to hold off blogging until Wrestlemania was over. But sadly, certain incidents in the wrestling business have forced me to vent frustrations. 


For once, I'm not gonna criticise the TNA booking process. We know it's shit, over with. I'd like to direct my bucket of rant towards a single "star" in the TNA locker room. 


Jeff "Problem, officer" Hardy was, for the so-manieth time, an unreliable piece of shit this past sunday at Victory Road. Now, truth be told, I didn't order the ppv, nor did I have any intention of watching it in the first place. Reading the results on monday and the news articles that had followed suit, I had to bring myself to watching the main event. Well, main event being somewhat of a stretch.


Jeff Hardy was, unsurprisingly, in no fit state to perform. As a result of what is currently unknown, and will probably remain that way. If anything, he wasn't really able to perform properly and in the 2 minutes the main event lasted, it showed. 


Now, what baffles me is the fact TNA officials did not take affirmative action. If Jeff Hardy shows up, unable to compete, you work out crisis scenarios. That seems like to logical thing to do, but TNA would rather drop him on tv, in front of paying customers and hope for the best. 


How can you defend something like that? Especially when he's facing a legend of the biz like Sting. That's truly unprofessional behaviour as far as I can assess to the situation. And not because it was Sting. It could've been anyone, because it was the main event of a pay per view and it was a world title bout. (Okay, in TNA, main event and world title practically always involves a big name past his prime.)


Sting was visibly upset, which I can imagine. Even when the fans started chanting "bullshit", he loudly exclaimed he agreed with them. That's classy.


Now, I will admit I anxiously kept one eye on the dirt sheets since that moment, hoping to see the "breaking news" of Hardy's dismissal. So far, zilch. Top star or not, this guy should've been fired. The sooner the better. It's not the first time he's pulled this shit, even in his first TNA run. Some learn from their mistakes, but apparently, TNA takes the stubborn approach.


There's something positive to be said about TNA though, because Bubba Ray is absolutely fantastic in his new heel gimmick. He has even lost weight. Kudos. Good booking, right? 


From past entries, you can definitely say I'm not the great defender of World Wrestling Entertainment, but it has dawned on me that the build up towards Mania is nearing perfection. You got the array of cameos from past stars (emphasis on cameo, TNA)  and you got the inevitable celebrities involved.


I won't defend the inclusion of Snooki, because as a wrestling fan, I died a little. But seriously, business-wise, it's a money maker for sure. One can argue about Snooki deserving to be popular, but we can all agree that she creates a certain buzz. I truly hope they don't have her do a backstage segment with Hornswoggle. It would be too easy. Leprechaun and Troll, that practically books itself.


It must be said, Snooki didn't come across as the complete tool she is on her reality show. She seemed to legitimately enjoy herself, and she even promoted WWE over twitter. That's definitely nice on her part.


In closing, the Hall of Fame inductees this year are shaping up nicely. Drew Carey is a bit of a strange choice though, considering those that haven't been inducted yet. If you remember, Drew Carey made a 10-minute appearance at the 2001 Royal Rumble as a contestant, offering money to Kane to leave him alone and subsequently eliminating himself. History, right?


Ah, there's always a negative point to find for either company, but that's part of the game. Just gotta make sure the negative don't outweight the positive. A new mindset for TNA, I reckon.




~D.

Quick! Get me rubber gloves ....

... because RAW was electrifying.




You know, last week's RAW was an abomination of sorts. You get your run of the mill program until the very end, with the revelation of the "Wrestlemania Guest Host". Fuck yeah, it was The Rock. And hell be damned if that pop wasn't the biggest one since the Attitude Era ended.


Rocky (of course) delivered some of his classic lines, and even insulted Michael Cole again. I may not like Michael Cole's forced heel persona that just doesn't seem to work, but hell ... he sold Rock's insults like a motherfucker. Props, Cole. But I'll never be a "cole-miner".


Rocky of course addressed current WWE Champion The Miz and put over Miz' asshole persona. Then the shoot on Cena followed. As we know, Cena's been very vocal in recent years about Rocky turning his back on wrestling to become a Hollywood Hotshot. Rocky just raised the bar one higher, and Cena never even got to his ankles in terms of being over. Hah!


Of course, ranting on Cena gave a mixed reaction (positive from everyone but the little kids). Even one kid held his thumbs high into the air, pointing downward. I don't think I need to emphasise the fact he was clad top to bottom in the garbage that WWE markets as Cena merch. From sweatbands to T-shirt and wristbands. 


It literally took half a minute for Rocky to get the people eating from his hands. That defines being over. 7 years after his last appearance inside the ring and he's still over as hell. Take notes, people.


Onto something different. Chris Jericho's new book is out, and I'm actually dying to read it. I've only read one wrestling biography so far and it was the Bischoff book (not exactly a great read, that self-glorifying garbage).
Jericho is a funny and passionate fucker so his book must be great.


Something else I've been enjoying lately (besides watching anything with Summer Glau in it) is the Kozlov-Marella tag team. Wow, that was rather unrelated, but regardless.


FUCKING FINALLY. Shades of Boris Alexiev are appearing in Marella's ring work and I'm enjoying every bit of it. I'm gonna have to put feathers up the ass of the "creative mind" behind it. Santino is a great comedy character, and Anthony Carelli pulls it off greatly, but his incredible fighting ability more or less got lost in the shuffle. Now, they managed to finally combine both his humour and his wrestling ability. That, folks, is entertainment.


In other wrestling news ... TNA has concocted the brilliant decision to put the world title back on Jeff Hardy. If anyone can tell me how putting your top belt on a guy who is on the brink of being jailed is a good business decision, please stand up. Of course, his case got moved again, so he's free for at least another month.


How they haven't gone out of business is beyond me. When was the last time a TNA homegrown star held the world title? That's something I'd like to know. Buncha idiots.


~D.

Royal Rumble- ...o?

Oh hello there, I didn't see you coming in. Sit down, don't have some coffee or tea (in accordance with the description up there /\


The Rumble is over, and it was surprising to say the least. Interesting as a whole, the reception was - to say the least- varying.


Kevin Nash made his return, surprisingly under the Diesel gimmick and Booker T made his return 11 entries earlier. Much to my shock and awe, they got the biggest pop of the night, even outclassing Cena.


Regardless of what I said earlier, Nash looked in better shape than he has been his entire TNA run. For the short time Booker was in there, he looked solid. While that was surprising, I'd call the final face-off to be more surprising.


Who could've guessed that it would be Alberto "Dos Caras, jr" Del Rio and SAN-f'n-TINO as final participants. Sure, creative has been upping Santino's in-ring credit as of late, having him "learn" Sambo and wrestling from Kozlov, of course making use of Anthony Carelli's past as a legitimate shoot fighter.


I longed for that moment btw, since the day he debuted as the goofball Italian, ignoring his previous gimmick of Boris Alexiev (Thank you Heyman!)


Anyways, Del Rio and Santino face off, Santino gets eliminated and Del Rio, a guy who's been there since what, September(?) gets to go and headline Wrestlemania. Of course, the general markitude is on the fence, because they don't like Del Rio's attitude. Durrr.


I for one am pleasantly surprised, as I didn't entirely expect him to actually win it. WWE is really taking this youth movement serious all of a sudden. Del Rio, to me, is a breath of fresh air waving through the locker room, but you already know that. c wut I did thar?


Not many other surprising things, Edge defeated Ziggler (with an Unprettier Killswitch no less) and Miz retained through outside interference. All fair, all fair.


Now yesterday came the big surprise. The new #1 contender to the WWE Championship has been named (with Del Rio setting his eye on Edge) and it's none other than Jerry Lawler. Yes, Jerry "The King" Lawler.


He will challenge Miz at No Way Out Elimination Chamber and I wouldn't even be surprised if he won it, only to lose it the day after. You know, just to have the one title he never got before on his resume.


For the rest, nothing eventful happened over the weekend and monday. The Bellas turned heel ... thus nothing eventful. Poor Bryan Danielson, you best hope you can get a world title reign soon.


Special props go out to John Morrison for having the most original way of not being eliminated from the Rumble. Let me run it down.


- John gets knocked off the apron
- John flings himself backward, turning in mid-air
- John holds himself to the barricade, climbs up
- John walks over the barricade
- John jumps from the barricade onto the steel steps
- John re-enters the ring.


his feet never touched the ground. Creative handling of spots is what we call such a thing. Jeff Hardy, take some fucking notes.


A new promo video aired, hyping a character appearance on the 21st of February 2011. All the secrecy ... a lot of people think  it's Sting, others think it's the Undertaker, and again others think it's "Seth Rollins". Seth Rollins, better known to true wrestling fans as ex-ROH World Champion Tyler Black. The one with the humongous neck.


Of course, WWE's secrets wouldn't be that if they didn't get smashed the next day and surely ... the location for RAW that day hypes the return of the Undertaker. Awesome.


Nevertheless, the NY Daily News, whose reputation is unknown to me, claims that Sting has signed a 1-year deal with WWE. If true, it' probably for his induction into the WWE Hall of Fame.


I can only draw one conclusion, based on videos of  sunday night that the Royal Rumble was probably the best they've put on in years. Mark out moments, swerves, acrobatics, ... all there. And the best of it all? It's not TNA.


~D.

Retired Rumblings and other stuff.

Sooooooooo,




Literally a few seconds ago, I learned that the Royal Rumble, due to be conducted tomorrow has 36 superstars confirmed. 


That wouldn't be anything surprising. After all, we learned over the past few weeks that the formula of 30 was being ditched in favor of the formula of 40 superstars. Now, the thing is, the Royal Rumble will feature two very unlikely "stars", faded or otherwise.


Kevin Nash and Booker T. I kid you not. 


Of course, this come from Mike Johnson and his legitimate sources, but he's usually on the money.


Right, rewind.


A few weeks ago, news got out that SpikeTV, home of TNA Impact urged TNA to reform the Main Event Mafia. Since both Booker T and Nash left the company, they fell two men short to reform the whole thing.
Immediately, TNA entered negotiations with Nash and Booker, but they have now seemingly fallen through.


So, I'll go down the route of Jesse Ventura and pull out a conspiracy theory. I'm thinking, WWE signed Nash to a short term deal running through Mania for a few reasons:


- To fuck TNA's plans over.
- To have a surprise at the Rumble
- To have an extra man up there to induct Shawn Michaels into the Hall of Fame


I can't think of a reason why else they would sign on Nash. The guy has been unable to work a typical Nash match for years. He's banged up. Primarily the first reason listed is the one they went for. After all, signing Nash is the easiest thing ever. Just offer a shitload of money and he'll come running like a bloodhound.


For Booker, it's not so difficult to understand. While he's well over 40, he's kept in good shape and is definitely able to work a solid match with anyone. The King Booker gimmick he ended his first run in the E with wasn't a success, but I reckon if they decided to bring back "Booker T", he'll be over in no time.


I don't expect both of them to stick with the company regardless. With WWE's recent surge of youth movement (which is going particularly well, I might add), it seems ever more likely that Booker and Nash are just there to put young guys over. 


Now, either way, it still leaves several spots open. Triple H's return is pretty much a lock. Others are reckoning Christian will return. It's a possibility, and if he does, he'll win it. I'm calling it.
Trent Barreta should be in too, he's getting over quite well right now. 


The #40 entrant? STEVE MOTHERFUCKING BLACKMAN! Yeah, with him being referenced a few times in (hilarious) exchanges between Bryan Danielson and his NXT rookie, I don't deem it impossible. It could be a weird mind twist, though.


Oh, before I forget ... Greg Helms ranted on Shawn Michaels again. lol. Every time that guy gets mic time, he'll make a fool out of himself. It should've dawned on him when a guy like Val Venis (out of all people) starts retorting and owns him. Sad fucker. TNA doesn't want him because his ex-girlfriend Velvet Sky is more valuable than him. Hahahaha, oh man, this is a soap opera I'll enjoy following.


But all that aside, I watched "Serenity" for the first time today. A cleavage shot from Summer Glau and an overall great film with subtle hilarities. I'm sold. OMG Summer Glau <3




~D.

Notice from the Editor

DISCLAIMER: Do not disregard the previous post. There's a pretty lady on it.

this is just a short notice to show that I've opened a second blog in this here website. Mostly as a class assignment, but it'll end up being used for entertainment reviews. You know, one of the things I aimed to do in this blog. Combining the obligated to the useful I guess.

Have fun reading Professional Ponderings by Delirious! or not.

~D.

Pleasing the vocal minority (and the unspoken majority at that)

So, I haven't come across anything that would make me rant like a mofo. Well, not anything I've ranted on before. The wrestling business has got me at a stalemate, so to speak.

But, to ensure interest in this microspace on the world wide web, here's a picture of a woman who is gorgeous, humble, talented and ... whatever other compliment you can think of.

you're welcome. Actually, she's the reason I'm quite behind on wrestling, seeing as I've been watching a lot of shows in which she starred ... until they all got cancelled by those right-winged motherfuckers at Fox Broadcasting.

Might as well plug the shows I've seen. They're out on DVD and are very likely easily pirated too.
Firefly, for one. It's about fucking Space Cowboys! FUCKING HELL YEAH!

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, for two. She plays a terminator! I don't know about you all, but if she was hunting to kill me, I'd let her.

Now, I of course have to explain to everyone why I get all giddy whenever someone says "Terminator". Ahnuld Shwartzenekker has nothing to do with that. Seriously.


Oh, and Matt Hardy made his debut in TNA. LOL. When I met him, he was quite nice. Shook his hand and all that shit, but seriously ... he's a humongous tool (by Michael Cole standards). If half the TNA lockerroom sniggers when you arrive, you know there's something wrong.

Oh, and a last message to Kevin Nash: WWE doesn't want you, TNA could do without you. If you say you're retired, do not Funk it up.

Anyone who gets that reference deserves a motherfucking cookie.

Wondering why I used so many fucking F-words? Samuel L. Jackson did my spellcheck.


~D.

One final quote to finish off:
Dudleys: "Terry, you can't piss in that trashcan, we're in public!"
Terry Funk: "Goddammit, I'm the Funker..."
*Terry Funk takes a piss*

A little more in depth than usual

seasons greetings.


This here entry is going to be about various things pertaining to wrestling. I'd like to start off with the following video starring the legendary pro wrestling manager/writer/booker/on-air-personality James E. Cornette, who shouldn't be a stranger to you if you've been watching wrestling for a few years. That, or if you watched Botchamania more than once.



Now, if you didn't care to watch the video at the sight of Dixie Carter, here's the short version. Dixie took part in a YouShoot interview and Jim Cornette, speaking for all the fans, asked why she's keeping Vince Russo employed as a writer. No surprising question coming from Cornette. Big Jim is known to hold a hatred against Russo unmatched by anything else.

Dixie's replies that in wrestling, you have faces and heels (HELLUW! You're talking to a crowd of smarks, they know what faces and heels are) and she pays Vince Russo to draw heat. HOLD THE FUCKING (BANANA)PHONE!

Isn't that supposed to be a wrestler's job? A booker, to me at least, is a guy who creates storylines between two wrestlers based on their overall chemistry, not a guy who brings heat to a company by walking into the office.

Dixie, here's a thought, if you pay Vince Russo to draw heat, all he has to do is show his face on tv every so often. The guy's an asshole who doesn't get along with half the people in your company.

Vince is a two-way man, either you hate his guts because he's fucked up pro wrestling after being instrumental for the attitude era, or you hate him for his poor quality writing. That, or you love him because he's thrown you a bone, which counts for a lot of guys who were on top during WCW's dying breath.

You want him to draw heat? Put him on the roster, simple. Have a few guys who hate his guts stiff the fuck out of him every waking moment to get those over as faces.

Cornette was right on the money when he decided to bugger off out of TNA after Dixie hired Russo. The working environment would've been bad for the man. Now he's in the right place, in a company booked by Delirious, who at least has a wrestling mind.

Even Eric Bischoff doesn't like Russo. Mainly because Russo fucked up Bischoff's instructions multiple times when Eric was in charge of running WCW and the fact that Russo didn't even care. Granted, Eric Bischoff doesn't exactly have a clean slate, but his dedication for the company he works for can't be held against him. Bischoff is what a company needs, a man who is supportive of his employer, but also dares to make bold quotes.

For instance, this week, Bischoff admitted that he doesn't believe TNA will overtake WWE ratings. Of course, Hulk "my wife looks like my daughter and I completely lost touch with wrestling in the late 90's" Hogan claims WWE will soon suffer. Bischoff's claims hold more ground, even though he brings up the blabber of WWE being more of a household name (WE KNOW IT ALREADY!).

Something tells me though, and it's just my gut feeling, that he's not entirely sure where the company is headed, both creatively and business-wise. They're still pushing guys who made name in WWE (Jeff Hardy and Ken Kennedy Anderson for instance) while dropping their homegrown stars off in mid-card matches. No go, bro. Sure, Hardy and Anderson can run for a while, but they won't last forever.

Ken's over 30, he's injury prone. Jeff's an unreliable bastard who suffers from the same delusions as his brother and he's got a rather strong habit of getting court cases for drug busts. Good thing TNA fired Chris Daniels, that's a load off their minds. ... oh wait. Point made.

In the video, I find it lovely that Jim mentions he's speaking for himself, wrestlers and fans alike. Dixie's stuttering and dilettant reply is just the icing on the cake. Lovin' it. These are the kind of things that keep pro wrestling interesting for me.

On to something more lighthearted. I've been actually quite consistent in watching WWE programming (I don't need to elaborate on why I skip TNA programming, do I?) and while their shows have still been of quite miserable level, they do have some nice angles going for the future. Drew McIntyre claiming he's gonna be a better person? CM Punk attacking Cena and joining Nexus? Cena's subsequent hip injury that's gonna keep him sidelined for a good few months? Very, very nice.

Especially CM Punk joining Nexus was a great move. Nexus has been billed as being created solely to kick John Cena's ass. That's the idea I get from the angle over the past few months. With the angle really having run its course, their only choice was to break up the group. The hints were even there, with the group disobeying Barrett's orders and whatnot. Considering the current affairs, this is an excellent way to end it all.

Nexus can now slowly dissolve, with individual members going solo and CM Punk is built up again as a credible heel after a long absence from the ring.

Speaking of that, in closing, CM Punk's absence from the ring has been the most enjoyable time for me. It was namely a brilliant move to put Punk on commentary. He's fantastic. I suggest going on youtube and search for "CM Punk Commentary". To finish off, a few quotes from Punk on commentary:

CM Punk: "Mitsuharu Misawa, Masahiro Chono, ... Yoshi looks up to these guys."
Scott Stanford: "Wow, look at you, these names rolling off your tongue"
CM Punk: "I'm sure you're thinking of Jumbo Tsuruta, Kim Chee, ..."

CM Punk: "Hey welcome back Michael Cole! The show is bad with or without you, but thanks for coming anyway."

The first quote is of course completely lost on today's wrestling fans. Personally, I laughed out loud.

Well, that's it, I'm sick and in no mood to continue on writing. Have a "Happy Hate Russo"-Day today, tomorrow and any day that follows.

~Deli