Retired Rumblings and other stuff.

Sooooooooo,




Literally a few seconds ago, I learned that the Royal Rumble, due to be conducted tomorrow has 36 superstars confirmed. 


That wouldn't be anything surprising. After all, we learned over the past few weeks that the formula of 30 was being ditched in favor of the formula of 40 superstars. Now, the thing is, the Royal Rumble will feature two very unlikely "stars", faded or otherwise.


Kevin Nash and Booker T. I kid you not. 


Of course, this come from Mike Johnson and his legitimate sources, but he's usually on the money.


Right, rewind.


A few weeks ago, news got out that SpikeTV, home of TNA Impact urged TNA to reform the Main Event Mafia. Since both Booker T and Nash left the company, they fell two men short to reform the whole thing.
Immediately, TNA entered negotiations with Nash and Booker, but they have now seemingly fallen through.


So, I'll go down the route of Jesse Ventura and pull out a conspiracy theory. I'm thinking, WWE signed Nash to a short term deal running through Mania for a few reasons:


- To fuck TNA's plans over.
- To have a surprise at the Rumble
- To have an extra man up there to induct Shawn Michaels into the Hall of Fame


I can't think of a reason why else they would sign on Nash. The guy has been unable to work a typical Nash match for years. He's banged up. Primarily the first reason listed is the one they went for. After all, signing Nash is the easiest thing ever. Just offer a shitload of money and he'll come running like a bloodhound.


For Booker, it's not so difficult to understand. While he's well over 40, he's kept in good shape and is definitely able to work a solid match with anyone. The King Booker gimmick he ended his first run in the E with wasn't a success, but I reckon if they decided to bring back "Booker T", he'll be over in no time.


I don't expect both of them to stick with the company regardless. With WWE's recent surge of youth movement (which is going particularly well, I might add), it seems ever more likely that Booker and Nash are just there to put young guys over. 


Now, either way, it still leaves several spots open. Triple H's return is pretty much a lock. Others are reckoning Christian will return. It's a possibility, and if he does, he'll win it. I'm calling it.
Trent Barreta should be in too, he's getting over quite well right now. 


The #40 entrant? STEVE MOTHERFUCKING BLACKMAN! Yeah, with him being referenced a few times in (hilarious) exchanges between Bryan Danielson and his NXT rookie, I don't deem it impossible. It could be a weird mind twist, though.


Oh, before I forget ... Greg Helms ranted on Shawn Michaels again. lol. Every time that guy gets mic time, he'll make a fool out of himself. It should've dawned on him when a guy like Val Venis (out of all people) starts retorting and owns him. Sad fucker. TNA doesn't want him because his ex-girlfriend Velvet Sky is more valuable than him. Hahahaha, oh man, this is a soap opera I'll enjoy following.


But all that aside, I watched "Serenity" for the first time today. A cleavage shot from Summer Glau and an overall great film with subtle hilarities. I'm sold. OMG Summer Glau <3




~D.

Notice from the Editor

DISCLAIMER: Do not disregard the previous post. There's a pretty lady on it.

this is just a short notice to show that I've opened a second blog in this here website. Mostly as a class assignment, but it'll end up being used for entertainment reviews. You know, one of the things I aimed to do in this blog. Combining the obligated to the useful I guess.

Have fun reading Professional Ponderings by Delirious! or not.

~D.

Pleasing the vocal minority (and the unspoken majority at that)

So, I haven't come across anything that would make me rant like a mofo. Well, not anything I've ranted on before. The wrestling business has got me at a stalemate, so to speak.

But, to ensure interest in this microspace on the world wide web, here's a picture of a woman who is gorgeous, humble, talented and ... whatever other compliment you can think of.

you're welcome. Actually, she's the reason I'm quite behind on wrestling, seeing as I've been watching a lot of shows in which she starred ... until they all got cancelled by those right-winged motherfuckers at Fox Broadcasting.

Might as well plug the shows I've seen. They're out on DVD and are very likely easily pirated too.
Firefly, for one. It's about fucking Space Cowboys! FUCKING HELL YEAH!

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, for two. She plays a terminator! I don't know about you all, but if she was hunting to kill me, I'd let her.

Now, I of course have to explain to everyone why I get all giddy whenever someone says "Terminator". Ahnuld Shwartzenekker has nothing to do with that. Seriously.


Oh, and Matt Hardy made his debut in TNA. LOL. When I met him, he was quite nice. Shook his hand and all that shit, but seriously ... he's a humongous tool (by Michael Cole standards). If half the TNA lockerroom sniggers when you arrive, you know there's something wrong.

Oh, and a last message to Kevin Nash: WWE doesn't want you, TNA could do without you. If you say you're retired, do not Funk it up.

Anyone who gets that reference deserves a motherfucking cookie.

Wondering why I used so many fucking F-words? Samuel L. Jackson did my spellcheck.


~D.

One final quote to finish off:
Dudleys: "Terry, you can't piss in that trashcan, we're in public!"
Terry Funk: "Goddammit, I'm the Funker..."
*Terry Funk takes a piss*

A little more in depth than usual

seasons greetings.


This here entry is going to be about various things pertaining to wrestling. I'd like to start off with the following video starring the legendary pro wrestling manager/writer/booker/on-air-personality James E. Cornette, who shouldn't be a stranger to you if you've been watching wrestling for a few years. That, or if you watched Botchamania more than once.



Now, if you didn't care to watch the video at the sight of Dixie Carter, here's the short version. Dixie took part in a YouShoot interview and Jim Cornette, speaking for all the fans, asked why she's keeping Vince Russo employed as a writer. No surprising question coming from Cornette. Big Jim is known to hold a hatred against Russo unmatched by anything else.

Dixie's replies that in wrestling, you have faces and heels (HELLUW! You're talking to a crowd of smarks, they know what faces and heels are) and she pays Vince Russo to draw heat. HOLD THE FUCKING (BANANA)PHONE!

Isn't that supposed to be a wrestler's job? A booker, to me at least, is a guy who creates storylines between two wrestlers based on their overall chemistry, not a guy who brings heat to a company by walking into the office.

Dixie, here's a thought, if you pay Vince Russo to draw heat, all he has to do is show his face on tv every so often. The guy's an asshole who doesn't get along with half the people in your company.

Vince is a two-way man, either you hate his guts because he's fucked up pro wrestling after being instrumental for the attitude era, or you hate him for his poor quality writing. That, or you love him because he's thrown you a bone, which counts for a lot of guys who were on top during WCW's dying breath.

You want him to draw heat? Put him on the roster, simple. Have a few guys who hate his guts stiff the fuck out of him every waking moment to get those over as faces.

Cornette was right on the money when he decided to bugger off out of TNA after Dixie hired Russo. The working environment would've been bad for the man. Now he's in the right place, in a company booked by Delirious, who at least has a wrestling mind.

Even Eric Bischoff doesn't like Russo. Mainly because Russo fucked up Bischoff's instructions multiple times when Eric was in charge of running WCW and the fact that Russo didn't even care. Granted, Eric Bischoff doesn't exactly have a clean slate, but his dedication for the company he works for can't be held against him. Bischoff is what a company needs, a man who is supportive of his employer, but also dares to make bold quotes.

For instance, this week, Bischoff admitted that he doesn't believe TNA will overtake WWE ratings. Of course, Hulk "my wife looks like my daughter and I completely lost touch with wrestling in the late 90's" Hogan claims WWE will soon suffer. Bischoff's claims hold more ground, even though he brings up the blabber of WWE being more of a household name (WE KNOW IT ALREADY!).

Something tells me though, and it's just my gut feeling, that he's not entirely sure where the company is headed, both creatively and business-wise. They're still pushing guys who made name in WWE (Jeff Hardy and Ken Kennedy Anderson for instance) while dropping their homegrown stars off in mid-card matches. No go, bro. Sure, Hardy and Anderson can run for a while, but they won't last forever.

Ken's over 30, he's injury prone. Jeff's an unreliable bastard who suffers from the same delusions as his brother and he's got a rather strong habit of getting court cases for drug busts. Good thing TNA fired Chris Daniels, that's a load off their minds. ... oh wait. Point made.

In the video, I find it lovely that Jim mentions he's speaking for himself, wrestlers and fans alike. Dixie's stuttering and dilettant reply is just the icing on the cake. Lovin' it. These are the kind of things that keep pro wrestling interesting for me.

On to something more lighthearted. I've been actually quite consistent in watching WWE programming (I don't need to elaborate on why I skip TNA programming, do I?) and while their shows have still been of quite miserable level, they do have some nice angles going for the future. Drew McIntyre claiming he's gonna be a better person? CM Punk attacking Cena and joining Nexus? Cena's subsequent hip injury that's gonna keep him sidelined for a good few months? Very, very nice.

Especially CM Punk joining Nexus was a great move. Nexus has been billed as being created solely to kick John Cena's ass. That's the idea I get from the angle over the past few months. With the angle really having run its course, their only choice was to break up the group. The hints were even there, with the group disobeying Barrett's orders and whatnot. Considering the current affairs, this is an excellent way to end it all.

Nexus can now slowly dissolve, with individual members going solo and CM Punk is built up again as a credible heel after a long absence from the ring.

Speaking of that, in closing, CM Punk's absence from the ring has been the most enjoyable time for me. It was namely a brilliant move to put Punk on commentary. He's fantastic. I suggest going on youtube and search for "CM Punk Commentary". To finish off, a few quotes from Punk on commentary:

CM Punk: "Mitsuharu Misawa, Masahiro Chono, ... Yoshi looks up to these guys."
Scott Stanford: "Wow, look at you, these names rolling off your tongue"
CM Punk: "I'm sure you're thinking of Jumbo Tsuruta, Kim Chee, ..."

CM Punk: "Hey welcome back Michael Cole! The show is bad with or without you, but thanks for coming anyway."

The first quote is of course completely lost on today's wrestling fans. Personally, I laughed out loud.

Well, that's it, I'm sick and in no mood to continue on writing. Have a "Happy Hate Russo"-Day today, tomorrow and any day that follows.

~Deli

courtesy update

I'm running out of original greetings to open this blog so I'll just say: hi.

The last entry was rather short, and this will likely end up not being different (as I write this on the fly, there's no telling, really)

This entry will contain a bit of a lot of everything. First of all, being the metal lubber that I am, I can be happy about some releases in 2011.

Belphegor's releasing their newest brainchild on January 14th, Alestorm will be in the studio recording around the same time and the boys from Amorphis have put forward a tentative release date in May 2011 for their new, original release. I'll be one happy guy, it seems.

Last Sunday, I took a trip to provincial capital ... nothing new as I do that nearly every day, but for a different reason. Anyways,  my brother, sister-in-law, myself and my mom went to go and see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I in the movie theatre.

Having heard some very positive reviews from classmates over the past few weeks, I pretty much walked in with a good vibe about it. Of course, that really means I was an easy target for disappointment.

Honestly, the previous 6 movies weren't "good". It translated the vibe of the books but when 2 out of 3 main characters are absolutely shit actors, you've got yourself a problem. FYI, the only solid actor of the three is Rupert Grint.

Anyways, I can gladly say I was pleasantly surprised at how the movie turned out. Not a single one of those classmates lied. Sure, you can mull and critique some scenes that were skipped or rewritten, but I'll leave that to the die-hard picky assholes who get a boner just slagging things off.

The acting in general translated as heartfelt, even though very little really happened. I was actually thinking about it during the intermission. How come they can actually turn something largely uninteresting (the first quarter of the book) into something quite spectacular? The diner scene could've been a final battle, so to speak.

There are negative sides too, though. Asides from the rewrites, naturally. This movie was so spectacular and awesome that I'm finding it difficult bridging the wait to part 2 which will be released as late as mid-July 2011.
The final battle at Hogwarts is truly the one thing I've been greatly looking forward to.

I've seen some wrestling too, don't worry. The last few days, as a form of relaxation after studying I've been watching various CHIKARA vids on youtube. Seriously, the comedy is golden and never gets old.

I mean, how ridiculous can it get? Having a tag team based around a NINTENDO gimmick ... including an old-school NES controller on Player Uno's pants (press start on the pants and he'll pause, no kidding.)
The video (among others) that I saw featured Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno & Player Dos) face off against Incoherence (Delirious & Hallowicked) and it actually showed Delirious shouting names of console systems that he considered better than Nintendo.

"Live in the now, 8-bit".

And their commissioner is Joey Gladstone. Seriously.

I also caught an episode of ROH on HDNet and concluded that since their move to a weekly show, their show has gone down the pooper a bit. Even though the aforementioned Delirious is head booker. Ah well, at least they still offer loads of quality wrestling, which is really what it's all about.

Go and check, CHIKARA reignited my love for pro wrestling, so it's good stuff.

as a little treat:



you'll indeed recognise ex-WWE superstar/jobber Colin Delaney.

ciao


D~

random update

yo

I won't be here much in the next few weeks, because I'll be enjoying the fantastic period of exams (yes, I truly love them. It's not a work)

But to keep everyone bothering, I decided to dump a little video here, accompanied with some dry and unimportant text.

Text: There've been some complaints lately about WWE stars no longer using flashy moves as finishers. Never the occasional Death Valley Driver  Bomb. Drivers are some of the most innovative moves and usually the most horrifying and intensely beautiful moves. So, below, a collection of how it could've been.

A selection of moves from American Independents, Puro promotions and old-school (Attitude Era) WWF. If you dislike Chemical Brothers, I suggest you mute the video.





You're welcome.


D~

That creativity dry-spell & other mindboggling business moves

hullo


the title of the following blog could be misleading. It could mean that I'm currently facing that creativity dry-spell and this blog will be devoid of cynism, sarcasm, overall funny that usually makes any entry juicy enough to be passable.


Or it could mean something else. 


Obviously, it is the latter. If otherwise, I wouldn't even bother writing this entry.


On a sidenote: exams are coming up, I'm feeling relaxed as ever. And for a very valid reason, I have a personal war with the French language. Enfin, les testes orale sont un pain in the ass.


The creativity dry-spell I'd like to discuss (read: rant about) is one that's currently faced by the writing team of Monday Night RAW. I realise that complaining about wrestling storylines is getting a little tedious, but come on. If they hadn't sunken to a new low, I wouldn't have cared.


Remember, in my last entry, where I spoke of Cena's farewell? Yeah. Scratch that. Cena's back, but in order for them not to break kayfabe to the kids in the audience (who, I'm pretty sure, have no fucking clue what kayfabe is) they decided to repackage him for the time being into "Juan Cena", John's masked cousin from Mexico.


I nearly fell off my tacky chair when I read that. That is the brilliant idea RAW creative came up with to keep Cena relevant to the audience. A few pointers that they missed on the go:


- Cena hasn't been relevant since Kurt Angle endlessly jobbed to him from september to november 2005.
- You don't need to keep Cena on tv, because people are utterly sick of him and would applaud him fucking off for at least a few months.
- Use that free time to really think through what new paths Cena could take to actually make him relevant again and not a part of the RAW set.


Obviously, a few people missed the intellectual ship and decided to travel in the Dinghy of Dumbasses. Not only are they insulting our intelligence, they'll probably swerve any die-hard Cena fan out there. Because they're no older than 11 and don't have the intellectual gathering to really understand this absolutely brilliant creative direction. 


Reading stuff like this makes me miss the E-feds we used to have on the forums. Back in the day, those E-feds stood for quality writing and interesting storylines. 


I remember one particular storyline that was concocted on the fly, by myself and Matt Neve. I don't know if you were part of the forums already, but I suspect you were. Anyways, it ultimately became the basis for an entire pay per view where the roster was branched into two sides. Raven's Flock and Mysterio's Minions (the latter didn't really have a name). Sounds like "Bragging Rights", huh? Well, it happened before Bragging Rights, and it was concocted to write Raven off the fed. It became a smashing success too.


Man, where are the days that I wrote 8 pages worth of segment for a show, without really knowing what I would be writing when I'd start (much like these blogs, really). "A Day in the life of The Hurricane" for example. Wrote it completely on the fly, and I still lol at it from time to time.


But the point I'm trying to make is, that if a simple kid, then 18 years old, can write a well balanced and carefully thought out segment, why can't a team of experience writers do the same? Why do they come up with such crap ideas? 


Lack of time? They have a week to write RAW, and more time to think out storylines.


Lack of knowledge? They have been working on it for a long time now. They'll be at least somewhat knowledgeable by now.


Lack of interest? This seems ever more likely. With every great idea shot down by Vince and the PG restriction greatly limiting whatever they can do. The last good idea Vince had? Santino Marella. 
Luckily, that's one for the ages.


Here's a pointer for Vince, hire some wrestling writers to run the show. Have guys like Paul Heyman run the RAW creative and have some Hollywood blondes as underlings (see what I did there?). Oh, and give him some leeway. Not the horrible Stephanie McMahon controlled ECW crap we got served under Heyman's reign in 2006. I still have trouble grasping the fact that Bobby "less charisma than a teaspoon" Lashley ran with the belt.


Fuck it, it's like I'm on repeat. When will they finally get the message? With Cena mocking the smart marks last week, by pointing out that they all hate him ... shouldn't that be a message to Vince to change things around, for the better of his business? Or is that just wishful thinking.


I'll probably end up mulling over this endlessly. Dammit.




D~


EDIT DEC 2ND 2010 11.28PM GMT+1: WWE has come to terms on the release of Montel Vontavious Porter (Alvin Burke, jr.) today. bla bla future endeavours bla bla


Not like we didn't see it coming. He's been hinting towards it on twitter, apparently. Matt Hardy called it too, apparently, but I don't tend to take hints from a low life delusional bastard.


I could take this moment and make fun of how WWE officials have no clue how to run the focal point of their business anymore, but it's been somewhat of a running gag in every entry by now, so I'm just gonna leave it up to you to come up with witty remarks on how WWE fucks up once again.




aaaaaaand SHOOT~