Off the Road

Hi


Something very ironic struck me these past few days. Wrestlemania time has passed and now, the big shit starts happening.


First, the entire US independent circuit was saddened by the loss of Alex Whybrow, better known to indy enthusiasts as "Sweet 'n Sour" Larry Sweeney. Half of the pro wrestling audience didn't know who Alex was and that, my friends, is a crying shame. If there's anyone charismatic enough to build a company around and who was an exceptional manager and wrestler, the name Larry Sweeney was continuously brought up.


It was heart breaking to see all the indy guys on Facebook mourning the loss of a guy who shook the foundations of the indies as an exceptional stick handler. It's only then that we learned that behind the facade of the character, there was a troubled man. I don't think any fan could've deciphered that Alex was bi-polar, suffering from very big mood swings to the point where he committed suicide by hanging. 


Do yourself a favour and watch some of his stuff on Youtube or any other video-sharing community. Be it a match, a move or a goddamn awesome promo. Whatever it is, you'll eventually agree that his passing is a tremendous loss to the wrestling world. 


Therefore, my condolences to his family, friends, colleagues and anyone who knew the man. May he rest in peace.


And then, barely recovered from the news of Larry Sweeney's passing, you get breaking news with the equivalence of getting a kick in the balls with a spiked iron boot. 


Edge retires and that sucks ass. Edge was one of the guys I actually idolised, because he was a goof and his friendship with Christian (who is still my all-time favorite along with William Regal) made for some awesome on-screen chemistry. 


I've been an EdgeHead for most of my life, and the fact that he had to retire came as a blow. You know, he just wrestled the week before and everything seemed fine. It turns out that Adam's body (I will refer to him by his given name from now on) wouldn't be able to hold up much longer. Given that he's been suffering from numbness in his arms and add that up to his neck fusion surgery around 2004, you can see why it was simply enough reason for him to no longer risk his body. I prefer retired Adam over paraplegic or dead Adam, to be honest.


The reactions from colleagues and friends was truly amazing. All of them hogged social networks like Twitter to praise his work and legacy in the business. Except Hulk Hogan, who of course had to divert the attention to himself. No point in elaborating, anyone who has read any entries in this blog knows how I feel about Hogan.


The show of respect that Edge received from his peers, his fans and his family was immensely cool. For anyone who thinks this is a work ... you'd have to admit they'd go great lengths if it was. 



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Now, it's very likely that WWE will allow Christian to take the empty spot, as a gesture to Adam. If you have been reading SmackDown spoilers, you'll find out whether or not that holds truth. 


I'm gonna miss Adam as Edge. He was one of the guys in WWE who has been continuously entertaining. Not to mention the fact that he's one of the guys who, through hard work, managed to break the glass ceiling by winning the WWE title (from John Cena no less!), coming from a position as glorified mid-carder and tag-team specialist. 


I'll find consolation in the fact that Christian is still there to entertain the smark in me and that E&C managed to reunite, albeit briefly, before Edge waved goodbye. Wrestlemania 29 in Toronto and Edge as headline HOF inductee please.


Okay, I'm done with the goodbyes.


Tough Enough was awesome again, though I'm a little bummed they eliminated Matt Cross/MDogg20/Matt Cappicioni. He didn't impress the trainers enough, but should've gotten a better chance. You can't expect someone who has been working on his character for 9 years to throw his personality around in the blink of an eye. Regardless, I would like to point out that Tough Enough really is made by the presence of Bill DeMott. 


I was a fan of Hugh Morrus/General Hugh G. Rection but this really puts him over with me. 


Alrighty, I'm done. 


~D.

Vince Russo is a ninja & other World Entertainment musings

-insert gnarly introduction here-


So, Wrestlemania has passed on, and I was glad I didn't have high hopes for it.


Just by reading the results, I got a pretty clear view of the event, which did not entice me to watch it ... at all.
Which is what the title references. I truly believe that Vince Russo infiltrated the offices in Stamford and poured his man-juice all over the script.


Let me run it down for you.


Edge vs Alberto Del Rio, "World Title Match". If you booked WWE programming, would this be your curtain jerker? I fucking think not. They fucking thought so. Nevertheless, I was surprised that Edge walked out with the belt. I was equally annoyed that Christian did not turn on Edge. That was the window.


Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes. Filler match nobody in their right mind would care for. What's notable? Cody Rhodes went over. Pretty neat stuff for a guy who is part of the "Knights of Boredom".


8-man tag match. The Core with an extra r vs Kane/Show/Kofi/Santino. A match that could've easily gone 20 minutes was cut short to ... a minute and a half. Yup, good job making a villain team look strong while getting their ass handed to them by a collection of boys who wouldn't get booked otherwise.


Punk vs Orton. They both are the future of the company, and they have proven once again why. These guys have a great storyline going on (even though the basis lies at Unforgiven 2008, which half of the audience won't even know about.). These guys know how to get an exciting match going. Exciting as in emphasis on actual pro wrestling.


The skits, I could care less for. I don't think anyone paid for Pee Wee Herman. Just saying.


PISS BREAK IMMINENT. Jerry Lawler faces Michael Cole.


Random note. Michael Cole has tattoos. Silly tattoos. Hearts and shit. It does not make him look cool. There, I said it. Match was over quickly. Jerry makes Cole tap, "Anonymous RAW GM" reverses the decision because Stone Cold got involved. Predictable as hell. Yawn.


Funny note: this match lasted nearly 14 minutes.


Next up, the match everyone's been waiting for. Taker going 19-0 over the Game. (You have now lost, btw)


Just reading over the course of the match, my suspicions were confirmed. This does not even come close to their previous Mania encounter at X-Seven. You know, the match WWE vehemently denies ever taking place. Taker apparently did sell the match like a motherfucker. All props to Taker. In the state he's in and still going 30 minutes in a No Holds Barred match featuring the usual Mania spots has to be commended.


Oh, and Trips traded in Motorhead for 'Tallica's "Bells". Appropriate, I guess.


PISS BREAK NUMERO DOS! JoMo, Trish and the Trollololol vs LayCool & Nicky from the Spirit Squad  Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero. Roughly 3 minutes later and we witness the Jersey Troll pinning Michelle McCool. McCool must have really pissed off someone high up.


Miz vs Cena. What everyone (including me) expected did NOT happen. Guess Russo missed that spot with his man-juice. Miz made Miztory as he actually became the first one to beat John Cena at Wrestlemania in a couple years! Yay!


Ok, initially it ended in a draw, but Rock wouldn't have it. Some shtick ensues. Match gets restarted because Rocky wants it (wait, since when does the host get this kinda power?). Cena wants to go for the FU, Rocky hits Cena with his "patented" Rock Bottom. Miz pins Cena for the win. Neat.


Based on this, I don't want to watch the event. Simple as that ... maybe except for the William Regal rap. It's so uncomfortable and stomach-turning each time Regal raps that I just can't get enough of it. They shouldn't be legal, tbh.

I watched portions of RAW, including the US Title match that was suspiciously cut off from the event. Sheamus retained, "Sin Cara" debuted and kicked Sheamus' ass. All hail Sin Cara's trampoline-aided botched top rope tumble. I'm intrigued nonetheless.


I saw Tough Enough as well. Pretty good first episode. Great that they acknowledged the indie work of some contestants. The main highlights of the show? Bill DeMott. I had forgotten how awesome this guy is and how awesome the character "Hugh Morrus" was. Though,"no joke", this first episode immediately showed that it was "no laughing matter". (See what I did?)


Also, during the meeting between Stone Cold and the trainers to see who has piss off outta there, Bill made me shortlist him for quote of the year.


"He's green as goose shit". Note, I randomly put that on twitter, and Bill almost immediately retweeted that. Pride and shit.


Much to my own surprise, I enjoyed Tough Enough. The one that got booted was the only one who actually annoyed me. Whatever. That girl made one of my favorite moments from that episode. Imagine:


SCSA: Whoa, wrestling is a NEW passion?
Girl: Yeah!
SCSA: What's your favorite match?
Girl: The one between Melina and Alicia Fox.
SCSA: Who?


Raises two questions for me...


1) What match between Melina and Alicia Fox is notable or good enough to be remembered?
2) What the fuck did she think she'd achieve with that answer?


Woman, at least do your goddamn research before enrolling. Of course, she is supposed to be eye candy anyways, so immediately upon her elimination she got signed to a developmental deal. Considering she has zilch experience, she'll probably end up in the ring within 6 months, green as goose shit.


Food for thought. Triple H ... I never thought I'd say this but ... PLEASE take over the company.


~D.