Quick! Get me rubber gloves ....

... because RAW was electrifying.




You know, last week's RAW was an abomination of sorts. You get your run of the mill program until the very end, with the revelation of the "Wrestlemania Guest Host". Fuck yeah, it was The Rock. And hell be damned if that pop wasn't the biggest one since the Attitude Era ended.


Rocky (of course) delivered some of his classic lines, and even insulted Michael Cole again. I may not like Michael Cole's forced heel persona that just doesn't seem to work, but hell ... he sold Rock's insults like a motherfucker. Props, Cole. But I'll never be a "cole-miner".


Rocky of course addressed current WWE Champion The Miz and put over Miz' asshole persona. Then the shoot on Cena followed. As we know, Cena's been very vocal in recent years about Rocky turning his back on wrestling to become a Hollywood Hotshot. Rocky just raised the bar one higher, and Cena never even got to his ankles in terms of being over. Hah!


Of course, ranting on Cena gave a mixed reaction (positive from everyone but the little kids). Even one kid held his thumbs high into the air, pointing downward. I don't think I need to emphasise the fact he was clad top to bottom in the garbage that WWE markets as Cena merch. From sweatbands to T-shirt and wristbands. 


It literally took half a minute for Rocky to get the people eating from his hands. That defines being over. 7 years after his last appearance inside the ring and he's still over as hell. Take notes, people.


Onto something different. Chris Jericho's new book is out, and I'm actually dying to read it. I've only read one wrestling biography so far and it was the Bischoff book (not exactly a great read, that self-glorifying garbage).
Jericho is a funny and passionate fucker so his book must be great.


Something else I've been enjoying lately (besides watching anything with Summer Glau in it) is the Kozlov-Marella tag team. Wow, that was rather unrelated, but regardless.


FUCKING FINALLY. Shades of Boris Alexiev are appearing in Marella's ring work and I'm enjoying every bit of it. I'm gonna have to put feathers up the ass of the "creative mind" behind it. Santino is a great comedy character, and Anthony Carelli pulls it off greatly, but his incredible fighting ability more or less got lost in the shuffle. Now, they managed to finally combine both his humour and his wrestling ability. That, folks, is entertainment.


In other wrestling news ... TNA has concocted the brilliant decision to put the world title back on Jeff Hardy. If anyone can tell me how putting your top belt on a guy who is on the brink of being jailed is a good business decision, please stand up. Of course, his case got moved again, so he's free for at least another month.


How they haven't gone out of business is beyond me. When was the last time a TNA homegrown star held the world title? That's something I'd like to know. Buncha idiots.


~D.

Royal Rumble- ...o?

Oh hello there, I didn't see you coming in. Sit down, don't have some coffee or tea (in accordance with the description up there /\


The Rumble is over, and it was surprising to say the least. Interesting as a whole, the reception was - to say the least- varying.


Kevin Nash made his return, surprisingly under the Diesel gimmick and Booker T made his return 11 entries earlier. Much to my shock and awe, they got the biggest pop of the night, even outclassing Cena.


Regardless of what I said earlier, Nash looked in better shape than he has been his entire TNA run. For the short time Booker was in there, he looked solid. While that was surprising, I'd call the final face-off to be more surprising.


Who could've guessed that it would be Alberto "Dos Caras, jr" Del Rio and SAN-f'n-TINO as final participants. Sure, creative has been upping Santino's in-ring credit as of late, having him "learn" Sambo and wrestling from Kozlov, of course making use of Anthony Carelli's past as a legitimate shoot fighter.


I longed for that moment btw, since the day he debuted as the goofball Italian, ignoring his previous gimmick of Boris Alexiev (Thank you Heyman!)


Anyways, Del Rio and Santino face off, Santino gets eliminated and Del Rio, a guy who's been there since what, September(?) gets to go and headline Wrestlemania. Of course, the general markitude is on the fence, because they don't like Del Rio's attitude. Durrr.


I for one am pleasantly surprised, as I didn't entirely expect him to actually win it. WWE is really taking this youth movement serious all of a sudden. Del Rio, to me, is a breath of fresh air waving through the locker room, but you already know that. c wut I did thar?


Not many other surprising things, Edge defeated Ziggler (with an Unprettier Killswitch no less) and Miz retained through outside interference. All fair, all fair.


Now yesterday came the big surprise. The new #1 contender to the WWE Championship has been named (with Del Rio setting his eye on Edge) and it's none other than Jerry Lawler. Yes, Jerry "The King" Lawler.


He will challenge Miz at No Way Out Elimination Chamber and I wouldn't even be surprised if he won it, only to lose it the day after. You know, just to have the one title he never got before on his resume.


For the rest, nothing eventful happened over the weekend and monday. The Bellas turned heel ... thus nothing eventful. Poor Bryan Danielson, you best hope you can get a world title reign soon.


Special props go out to John Morrison for having the most original way of not being eliminated from the Rumble. Let me run it down.


- John gets knocked off the apron
- John flings himself backward, turning in mid-air
- John holds himself to the barricade, climbs up
- John walks over the barricade
- John jumps from the barricade onto the steel steps
- John re-enters the ring.


his feet never touched the ground. Creative handling of spots is what we call such a thing. Jeff Hardy, take some fucking notes.


A new promo video aired, hyping a character appearance on the 21st of February 2011. All the secrecy ... a lot of people think  it's Sting, others think it's the Undertaker, and again others think it's "Seth Rollins". Seth Rollins, better known to true wrestling fans as ex-ROH World Champion Tyler Black. The one with the humongous neck.


Of course, WWE's secrets wouldn't be that if they didn't get smashed the next day and surely ... the location for RAW that day hypes the return of the Undertaker. Awesome.


Nevertheless, the NY Daily News, whose reputation is unknown to me, claims that Sting has signed a 1-year deal with WWE. If true, it' probably for his induction into the WWE Hall of Fame.


I can only draw one conclusion, based on videos of  sunday night that the Royal Rumble was probably the best they've put on in years. Mark out moments, swerves, acrobatics, ... all there. And the best of it all? It's not TNA.


~D.