That creativity dry-spell & other mindboggling business moves

hullo


the title of the following blog could be misleading. It could mean that I'm currently facing that creativity dry-spell and this blog will be devoid of cynism, sarcasm, overall funny that usually makes any entry juicy enough to be passable.


Or it could mean something else. 


Obviously, it is the latter. If otherwise, I wouldn't even bother writing this entry.


On a sidenote: exams are coming up, I'm feeling relaxed as ever. And for a very valid reason, I have a personal war with the French language. Enfin, les testes orale sont un pain in the ass.


The creativity dry-spell I'd like to discuss (read: rant about) is one that's currently faced by the writing team of Monday Night RAW. I realise that complaining about wrestling storylines is getting a little tedious, but come on. If they hadn't sunken to a new low, I wouldn't have cared.


Remember, in my last entry, where I spoke of Cena's farewell? Yeah. Scratch that. Cena's back, but in order for them not to break kayfabe to the kids in the audience (who, I'm pretty sure, have no fucking clue what kayfabe is) they decided to repackage him for the time being into "Juan Cena", John's masked cousin from Mexico.


I nearly fell off my tacky chair when I read that. That is the brilliant idea RAW creative came up with to keep Cena relevant to the audience. A few pointers that they missed on the go:


- Cena hasn't been relevant since Kurt Angle endlessly jobbed to him from september to november 2005.
- You don't need to keep Cena on tv, because people are utterly sick of him and would applaud him fucking off for at least a few months.
- Use that free time to really think through what new paths Cena could take to actually make him relevant again and not a part of the RAW set.


Obviously, a few people missed the intellectual ship and decided to travel in the Dinghy of Dumbasses. Not only are they insulting our intelligence, they'll probably swerve any die-hard Cena fan out there. Because they're no older than 11 and don't have the intellectual gathering to really understand this absolutely brilliant creative direction. 


Reading stuff like this makes me miss the E-feds we used to have on the forums. Back in the day, those E-feds stood for quality writing and interesting storylines. 


I remember one particular storyline that was concocted on the fly, by myself and Matt Neve. I don't know if you were part of the forums already, but I suspect you were. Anyways, it ultimately became the basis for an entire pay per view where the roster was branched into two sides. Raven's Flock and Mysterio's Minions (the latter didn't really have a name). Sounds like "Bragging Rights", huh? Well, it happened before Bragging Rights, and it was concocted to write Raven off the fed. It became a smashing success too.


Man, where are the days that I wrote 8 pages worth of segment for a show, without really knowing what I would be writing when I'd start (much like these blogs, really). "A Day in the life of The Hurricane" for example. Wrote it completely on the fly, and I still lol at it from time to time.


But the point I'm trying to make is, that if a simple kid, then 18 years old, can write a well balanced and carefully thought out segment, why can't a team of experience writers do the same? Why do they come up with such crap ideas? 


Lack of time? They have a week to write RAW, and more time to think out storylines.


Lack of knowledge? They have been working on it for a long time now. They'll be at least somewhat knowledgeable by now.


Lack of interest? This seems ever more likely. With every great idea shot down by Vince and the PG restriction greatly limiting whatever they can do. The last good idea Vince had? Santino Marella. 
Luckily, that's one for the ages.


Here's a pointer for Vince, hire some wrestling writers to run the show. Have guys like Paul Heyman run the RAW creative and have some Hollywood blondes as underlings (see what I did there?). Oh, and give him some leeway. Not the horrible Stephanie McMahon controlled ECW crap we got served under Heyman's reign in 2006. I still have trouble grasping the fact that Bobby "less charisma than a teaspoon" Lashley ran with the belt.


Fuck it, it's like I'm on repeat. When will they finally get the message? With Cena mocking the smart marks last week, by pointing out that they all hate him ... shouldn't that be a message to Vince to change things around, for the better of his business? Or is that just wishful thinking.


I'll probably end up mulling over this endlessly. Dammit.




D~


EDIT DEC 2ND 2010 11.28PM GMT+1: WWE has come to terms on the release of Montel Vontavious Porter (Alvin Burke, jr.) today. bla bla future endeavours bla bla


Not like we didn't see it coming. He's been hinting towards it on twitter, apparently. Matt Hardy called it too, apparently, but I don't tend to take hints from a low life delusional bastard.


I could take this moment and make fun of how WWE officials have no clue how to run the focal point of their business anymore, but it's been somewhat of a running gag in every entry by now, so I'm just gonna leave it up to you to come up with witty remarks on how WWE fucks up once again.




aaaaaaand SHOOT~

Awesome?

oh hai


I haven't updated since I last posted the game review, which was a few weeks ago. To be quite honest, college has been a positive pain in the ass the last few weeks, with a whole bunch of assignments coming my way.


Fair deal, it was to be expected, but it's been overwhelming me quite a bit. Combine that with exams coming up, and I'm pretty busy. Goddamn French oral exam every fucking week. I truly truly hate that lecturer.


Anyways, the reason I'm actually writing this blog is because of RAW yesterday 22nd of november 2010.


A pretty normal episode regardless in that it featured skits and wrestling. In fact, more wrestling than anything.


It was strange. Much like last week, CM Punk provided commentary (and is really good at it too!). KOTR qualifiers. Oh, and Cena's goodbye speech. How much more of a work can you make it, man? Everyone who gets fired is let loose with a teeny-tiny message on the website getting future-endeavoured like they're just a number. John Cena gets a 20 minute slot to say goodbye. I Lol'd at it, because it was him taking the piss out of smart marks everywhere. I enjoyed it. He sucks in the ring, but his mic work is natural.


This anonymous general manager bull may now stop. seriously. It's bad enough we have to endure Michael Cole every split second, and now we've been enduring months of him reading from a piece of paper that has been placed in sight so obviously, it's becoming laughable.


However, what was to be expected for months has also happened. Randy Orton lost the WWE title to The Miz. That's right, the reality star turned superstar cashed in and won the belt in what was less of a non-match than the previous cash-ins. Many people, marks and smart marks alike, hate The Miz. I for one believe he's deserved to run with that belt. I don't think he'll hold it for very long, but credit where credit's due ... he earned every bit of it. 

Not only is he one of the most hated heels today, he's done a pretty bang up job to make the crowd hate him even more with every passing minute. Props.


I didn't care for him much when he was the host for the Diva search. At that point even, I thought his WWE career would be shorter than Verne Troyer. He didn't even get over at all.


Until he became "awesome". Complete one-eighty right there. Not to mention the fact that his promo skills and in-ring work drastically improved to the point where he can actually put on a good match every time.


What really made it all special for me was the fact that it wasn't a non-match. It was always like that. Difficult match for the champ, MITB caseholder comes in, hits finisher and done. This one actually went back and forth, which made both men look strong in the end. props, I'd say.


Oh, and when Miz actually won, I literally laughed out loud at the fancy camera work. BAM, three count is made, Miz celebrates and the camera zooms in on the thoroughly disappointed faces of the people kids in the crowd. IMMD, seriously.


I don't know how you feel about Miz being WWE champ, but either way you can't deny the fact that he's been working like a madman on improving his game and getting his gimmick over.




I'm Deli, and I'm awesome.




D~

It's all about the Game, and how playable it is Pt II

Buenas noches, hombre(s)


As Prince George III said in Blackadder: SAUSAGE  REVIEW TIEM!


Last saturday, due to circumstances I was a little early at the scene of my snooker match. Seeing as being 2 hours early doesn't accommodate well, I decided to head out and make my way to the multimedia shop (which I won't plug)


Last Friday saw the release of WWE SmackDown vs RAW 2011, which I said I would buy and review. I bought it, played it rigorously, and the review can be read below. Mind, I haven't exactly finished the game entirely, but did a lot.


First of all, I would like to rant on the DLC only characters. I was looking forward to dominate with the Nexus faction, but seeing as I don't have internet hooked up to my shiny black box, I can't. Shit's formidably bad.


Anyways. Unlike other editions, I secretly had high hopes for this game. The burning question being: "Have they delivered?" . I'll get to that.


I consider this game an overhaul of sorts. Nothing too big, but an overhaul nonetheless. Last year's edition saw a vast improvement on environmental moves and grappling additions. This year, it has been trimmed down, in the hopes of making it more realistic. No biggie, it has been reduced to the bare necessary, mostly. 


The Create-A-Finisher saw a new addition to the postion. Corner finishers. Why is beyond me.
Perhaps to accommodate to the new object collision improvement? I'm still waiting for my finishers from behind, or the ability to add them as signature moves really.


The new object collision is fantastic. Table hits still look a little messy, but at least the objects react to several outside factors. Ladders now break, tables break accordingly to the angle the superstar hits it, etc. 
Separate ladder finishers have been added as well. Always wanted to do an Unprettier Killswitch from the ladder. You have been served.


For the most part, it's still the same old soup. 


Several new finishers have been added, along with the vast number of wrestlers added. Drew McIntyre's Future Shock and Thee Move Scot Drop Reverse STO, Zack Ryder's Zack Attack ... Future Shock looks horrible by the way. Hardly resembling the actual move. Son, I am disappoint.


The new WWE Universe mode reminds me of the career mode in "WWF SmackDown! 2: Know Your Role!" where you actually have rankings for every title and the ability simulate matches like the General Manager mode. Upside of it? Unlike in General Manager mode way back when, you don't have to bother putting together tedious card after tedious card to get a show running. Game is smart and generates a new show card, based on existing rivalries/alliances. 


Of course, you can still override everything and create custom matches if you feel the need for it. Add to that the fact that you can also give yourself any title you like and you're set. Personally, I'm IC Champ (which I got by rising through the ranks, becoming #1 contender in a specific match and defeating Kerwin White's former caddy =) I didn't even know I was gunning for it.


My CAW is also Unified Tag Champ w/ William Regal ... a tradition I've kept up for the past few years.
Yeah, I hardly ever play with actual wrestlers. I always use CAW's.


Create-A-Superstar hasn't seen much improvement, aside from the fact that you can add some different clothers and hairstyles. I kid you not, I saw facial hair options that resembled the facial hair of the following people:

 Scott Ian from Anthrax

Shavo Odadjian from System of a Down

I kid you not. Ahem, you can also add some new costumes to the mix, including blatantly taking them from a template. In my case, that means a costume as "cinematic attire" (cutscenes)

The Road to Wrestlemania ... well, I wish I could say it was an improvement but it's pretty gimmicky. Wrestlers who don't wanna talk to you mutter funny line after funny line that always comes down to "Get the fuck out of my face". Either way, the dialogue is pretty well written, but the acting leaves much to be desired. The same goes for the digital counterparts of the voice actors and their inability to lipsync. Tiny details, I know.

Story wise, this years RTWM is the shit. Really. the VS Undertaker storyline is amazing, especially adding Paul Bearer and Masked Kane to the mix (you can see why I'm sold). Chris Jericho's storyline is good, Christian's storyline is AWESOME (E&C return, obviously), John Cena's storyline is good (the bad part being actually having to use Cena)

All of these minor details I didn't like (such as having to UNLOCK Regal, and still having no Regalplex) this game is probably the best Yuke's has delivered in years. It's far from perfect and any half-a-brain game reviewer would put it down the pooper (or at least make some very dated wrestling references usually involving the words muscles, oil, tight and spandex) but I liked it.

Spicy detail? There are several versions of it available. Regular versions and special ones. I had my hands on the regular edition until I spotted "The Viper Edition" for the same price. So for no buck extra I got my hands on a signed Randy Orton promo card, access codes for Randy Orton's special attires and .... TA-DUM!

WWE No Mercy 2007 DVD. While it wouldn't be a DVD I'd have to have, it's nice to get it for absolutely zilch. The beauty of this pay per view lies in the fact that it doesn't feature Cena (who had just been injured) and no less than three WWE title matches, all of them having Triple H holding it. I don't care, I'm gonna watch it.

T-T-T-That's All Folks! ©Porky Pig

~D.

P.S. - Is it inappropriate that I laughed at a segment from yesterday's RAW? The Vinnie Mac coma scene with Freddie Prinze, Jr. being the doctor was somehow hilarious. I didn't like the midterm election plugging though.