It was the biggest party of the summer

Hey

Those of you who actually bother to read this know that I'm a wrestling fan. Yesterday, World Wrestling Entertainment organised its Wrestlemania jr event Summerslam (or as Jeremy Piven says: Summerfest)

I was mighty impressed with the card at first, even complimenting WWE on their booking. Mind, the card was far from complete, and didn't feature the endless repeat of Randy Orton facing off against John Cena.

I'll try to give my honest idea based on what I've read, not having seen the event.

The pre-show dark match was a 15-woman battle royal, with Chavo Guerrero as special referee. Fun, the women showcasing the little bit of talent they're gifted with. Ultimately Beth Phoenix, who probably has the most skill out of all of them gained the victory and of course the overall quality of the match had to be thrown out of the window.

We all know Vince and his desire to throw unnecessary (and by now greatly annoying) comical relief into every possible segment.

You might've guessed it, there's Hornswoggle. The biggest piece of useless garbage to grace a WWE ring since ... Gobbledygooker? Of course, the women are trying not to cringe when the "pint-sized superstar" comes out from under the ring and executes his Frog Splash (or tadpole splash, hahahahahahaha -,-) on Chavo, effectively burying him just a little more. At least not everyone saw it. Sheesh.

The show opens with DX announcing they're back. Cool, were it not that everyone already knew about it. They'd been pushing the zillionth return of DX for weeks on RAW.

The opening match of the PPV had a surprising turn that probably no one expected. Rey Mysterio defended the Intercontinental title against Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler, despite having the most ridiculous name in sports entertainment, is a young rising star, for whom I'm legitimately glad that he's getting the chance to shine. He's doing really well and seems to fit right in at the mid card.

Everybody expected Dolph to get the rub and take the title off Mysterio. It didn't happen. Mysterio was promised a lengthy reign for some reason. I don't like Mysterio much anymore. I was a huge fan back in the WCW days, but his gimmick of underdog ruined it all. That gimmick is on the backseat, in favor of no personality whatsoever so I'm starting to like him more now.

Mysterio retains and next is MVP vs Jack Swagger.

Both have been trading insults with Swagger hinting towards, or flat-out revealing the time MVP legitimately spent in jail. MVP countered that he learned to survive etc..

This match had the potential and they delivered a match I could expect from them. Technical, compelling and most prominently, one that made the casual, unknowing fans happy. MVP claimed victory and that was that.

Lawler and Cole plug all of the (D-List and up) celebrities in attendance at the front row. I don't know 'em, and I won't bother to list them.

Next up is a match I expect to be bad, despite the fact it features one of my favorite performers of all time. Jericho and the Big Show defending their unified titles against the Robbin' Hoods, JTG and Shad Gaspard. Collectively known as "Cryme Tyme". Everybody thought Cryme Tyme was walking away with the belts ... well, they weren't. Big Show got the knockout shot and the pinfall at the team of titans retained the belts. woohoo!

Then another tag match, this time the outcome couldn't be more predictable. Shawn Michaels and Triple H, together they are Degeriatric X, facing off against Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, the Legacy. Nobody was surprised that DX won. Trips can't lose a meaningless match on PPV! He has a rep! fuck that big nosed ass hole.

Kane vs Khali is next. Bullshit match, good outcome. Glad to see Kane win. rest, pfff, why bother.

Then to the match I was most looking forward to, Christian vs William Regal. Those two are my favorite and joint second favorite performer and a match between them would be amazing. I emphasize "would be" as it definitely wasn't. Team Creative probably thought that having Regal wrestle a full match on PPV would be boring so they let Christian win in approximately 5 seconds

This could have been the best match on the card wrestlingwise, but they simply weren't able to deliver ANYTHING!

bah. This booking has Vince Russo's name on it. It's best the creative team sends the package back to Orlando so Russo can book badly again.

then the WWE title match. Randy Orton vs John Cena #434

Randy goes in as champion, Cena as the challenger. Have I seen this before? Yup, we haven't seen much else in the past 3 years. Typical Cena match. Orton dominates until the finish, where Cena hulks up, comes back with three moves and then locks in Orton in a watered down version of whatever submission it's supposed to be. Referee counts, and Cena wins... WAIT! REWIND! That's not what happened. A fan grabbed hold of the referee, distracting Cena and allowing Orton to hit the RKO ftw!

Orton retains and I knew it was set up. A fan that comes in right at the finish of a match, buttfucks the ref (as seen on the picture at WWE.com) which allows Orton to win. Of course it was a plant. And it was none other than Brett DiBiase, brother of Ted and son of Ted (and they're not inbred). Hell, it could've been Doink buttnaked. I love this kind of booking! Cena lost, and Orton retains the title and is safe for another month, I hope.

Last match on the card. Hardy is on his way out, out of the company that is, so Punk will obviously win. Since Jeff is out, Punk needs a new challenger. Wait for it, wait for it, there we are. The bell goes, and the arena turns dark blue. Surprise, it's the Undertaker making his first appearance since his classic match with Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania. SmackDown is definitely the most interesting brand in WWE right now. That concludes Summerslam. An event with a boatload of potential, that was eventually mostly killed off by horrendous booking.

I'm Deli, and I don't know what I'm saying.

peace.

An horrifically late update.

O hey there

Long time no been here. There's no reason actually, I just didn't feel like updating.

Besides that, news in the wrestling world has been rather slow. Nevertheless, there are some tidbits I'd like to give my opinion on. As the top banner states, I will no longer limit myself to "professional wrestling" .. noooo, don't shoot me Vince, alright alright: "Sports Entertainment/Action Entertainment". Ahem, I'll also add my view on several items that are currently in media.

Nonetheless, first things first -> wrestling.

It seems to me that there's been something of a power shift within the locker room of the WWE. The recent release of Ken Kennedy for example. As we all know, Ken returned from an injury that kept him sidelined for a good year. His first match back and he supposedly botches a back suplex on Randy Orton. Orton complains to Vince and Vince fires Ken without question. Anyone who has seen the particular spot will agree with me that Randy had it coming.

I truly thought that a wrestler who grew up in the business knows how to react when an opponent attempts to connect a back suplex on you. I was obviously wrong. Randy Orton, whose father, uncle and grandfather worked in this business manages to topple backwards, right at the peak of the back suplex. The result is that Randy Orton falls head first onto the mat. Uh-oh, botch. Immediately after, Randy throws a fit (so he's not hurt, big deal then, Randy?) and finishes the match.

Two days later, the dreaded "future endeavors" message appears with a picture of the Green Bay Loudmouth accompanying it. The moment I saw it, I knew Randy had been throwing a temper tantrum.

I cannot believe (and this speaking as a fan of Randy) Vince would put trust in a guy who has been suspended, not only for drug use but for unprofessional conduct (TWICE!) and actually take advice from him when it comes to the job of another man. That's the second time Randy complained which resulted in an almost immediate release. Afa "Manu" Anoai, jr. being the first.

Whatever, onto the next. There's some title issues over there in the E. What is creative thinking?

It's a pay per view, Batista goes into the world title match injured as a challenger. Batista wins ... and forfeits the title the next day on RAW. Randy Orton, who entered the PPV as the champion gets the title. I seriously don't get the point in putting the title on Batista, only to have no fucking change at all. The same thing is happening on SmackDown. There's been a feud brewing between Jeff Hardy, whose small bit of talent was left in the flaming remains of his previous house, and CM Punk.

They started their feud when CM Punk cashed in his money in the bank opportunity, a chance he won at WM XXV. Jeff Hardy had just become the new world champion and Punk took the title off him immediately. Best thing that could happen. A few weeks later, Jeff Hardy beats Punk for the title and a new match is set for Summerslam.

Sounds perfectly normal, but it isn't. Jeff Hardy has notified management that he's leaving shortly. He refuses to sign a new deal, and wants to take a sabbatical. Yet he's been racking up title wins after title wins. It's saying much when Hardy himself was surprised that the upper echelon of stupidity wanted to put the belt on him. Top notch decisions. For fucks sake.

The only title picture that is somewhat normal is the ECW title picture. Being somewhat inferior to the other two, the belt has exchanged at an equal rate, but with a good reason and a nice feud surrounding it. Tommy Dreamer, famous for having a 30 minute world title reign won the title from Christian at Extreme Rules (formerly One Night Stand) and thus realised a life long dream (even though Tommy has been quoted as saying he wanted to have a career without titles. Continuity ftw). Night of Champions and Christian regains the belt.

There's a story behind the feud, and I'm liking it. Not only because Christian is in it (and he's recognised world wide as a 4-time world champion now!) but both Dreamer and Christian have managed to create magic by all their promo's and their matches.

All I have left to say is that John Morrison, Matt Sydal, Jake Hager and Nick Nemeth (I can't bear to write their WWE names ... Bourne, Swaggah and Ziggler resp.) are without a doubt a huge part of the future of the wrestling business. We can onmy hope that Vince won't screw this up by feeding them all to "the big tank filled with absolutely no talent" that is known as John Cena.

In the music world, there's been a heated battle between former bandmates. Bandmates who together formed Fear Factory, but obviously no longer are.

Christian Olde Wolbers (Belgium represent!) and Ray Herrera, guitarist/bassist and drummer respectively had formed a new band called "Arkaea" when Fear Factory was on sabbatical. They had done a sabbatical earlier on (2002 to be precise) where a change in the line up was into effect. Then guitarist Dino Cazares was thrown out and replaced by then-bassist Christian Olde Wolbers (COW). The bass position was taken by Strapping Young Lad-bassist Byron Stroud.

We're 2009 now. Fear Factory has been on sabbatical since '07. Now recently, vocalist Burton C. Bell and ex-guitarist Dino Cazares sat down with Blabbermouth to announce the reformation of Fear Factory. Woohoo! I can only applaud that. Wait a minute? Burton and DINO make the announcement. My biggest fear became reality. COW and Ray Herrera were no longer part of the band. Many figured it was because of Arkaea but an interview with Burton Bell later on shed a different light.

Apparently, Christy Priske, who has been FF's manager for some time was the subject of this conflict. Rumor has it, she is married to COW (according to Bell) but she's riding the Mexican cactus of Ray Herrera on the side. Bell refused to work with her any further, which is the reason why Ray and COW are no longer part of FF sadly enough. Dino takes Christian's place, Burton and Byron stay and the drums will be done by drumming legend Eugene "The Atomic Clock" Hoglan (Strapping Young Lad, Dark Angel, Death, Testament). Fuck it, I want to hear this record.

Can't fucking wait. That's all. Ciao, and (hopefully sooner) 'till next time!